If dating is all about numbers – how many dates you go on a week/month/year, how many times you put yourself out there, etc. – then the popularity of dating websites and apps have made this even easier. You literally have more people than ever before to choose from and can have a date every night of the week if that’s your jam. I’m not into that, though – I think you need to pick one form of online dating and stick with it. Here’s why:
- You will go crazy. Literally. Dating is hard enough. Dating as a confident girl with a vibrant, busy life and career is even worse. You waste mental energy, get those hopes up despite your best efforts, and have to coordinate schedules for every first date. It’s all pretty annoying and crazy-making, so imagine juggling a whole bunch of dating profiles and apps. Not happening.
- You need to keep things simple. Say what you will about Tinder, but it makes dating amazingly easy. You don’t have to fill out a super long profile, you can quickly tell if you get a good vibe from someone or not, etc. If you stick to Tinder, you’ll get dates and you won’t have to put a ton of effort in, which is welcome in your already busy life.
- You won’t burn out. Dating burnout is a real thing. If you’re on OkCupid, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee and Bagel, and whatever else has cropped up recently, you’ll soon feel like a professional dater and will find it difficult to get excited about going out. Who needs that?
- You’ll start to mix people up. This is 100 percent guaranteed. You can only remember so much – what episode you’re on of your latest TV obsession, what your boss wants you to present at Friday’s meeting, your grocery list. Who can recall if Jeff is from Tinder or Match.com? Or if Ryan is a teacher or a writer? You’ll inevitably insult someone on a date and it just won’t be a good scene.
- You play favorites. You know you do, and you should. Every app or site is totally different and you can follow your instincts about which one feels right for you. There are also certain types of people and communication styles on each online dating platform, and that will tell you what you want, too.
- You’ll start running into the same guys. This is unavoidable if you use a bunch of dating apps, and yet it still feels so awkward. Suddenly that guy who seriously creeped you out last Friday night or who ghosted you (or who you ghosted) is staring at you on Tinder. Ugh. Moving on.
- It looks kind of desperate. Of course you want to find love and you should, but you don’t want to make it your entire life’s goal because that’s just no fun at all. If you can stick to one dating platform, you’ll feel much better and can still focus on the other things that you want to do.
- Some apps are weird. Not naming names, but there are certain apps out there that are pretty gross. They make all sorts of claims about why they make sense (like you have friends in common, for instance), but you get a bad vibe. Why use them if you don’t want to?
- You want to feel like you can stop dating. The weird thing about using these apps or sites is that you feel like dating is this never-ending merry-go-round that will never, ever end. If you only use one app, however, you’ll feel like the end is definitely in sight – like you’re only one second or swipe away from your perfect match. Or whatever perfect means to you.
