In many ways, being in any relationship is a statement about who you are and what you value. We often hear about people making powerful gestures of love or talking about reclaiming their own power after a relationship dissolves, but what most people don’t realize is that the most powerful thing anyone can do in a relationship is to choose to stay in it. Here’s why:
- When you break up, you’re saying a slew of things about the state of the relationship. By leaving, you’re saying that you refuse to tolerate that person’s behavior. You’re saying that the person in question isn’t worth your time, effort or resources. You’re also saying that you realize you’re better off without that person in your life and that you love yourself enough to actually seek out someone better.
- When you choose to work things out after a blowout, you’re saying just as much about how much you value the relationship. Choosing to stick things out means that you really do treasure that person, and that you see value in keeping them around. You’re also saying that you see yourself with this person in the long-term. By staying together, you’re basically saying that the good outweighs the bad. (Note: If the bad doesn’t outweigh the good, you might want to change your mind about staying.)
- If you leave a toxic relationship, you’re also saying that you love yourself. It takes so much courage to stick up for yourself and leave an abusive relationship. By making that huge leap into singledom, you’re showing the world that you realize you deserve better and that you are strong enough to get better. Not all women are strong enough to do this, so be proud that you are!
- When you think about it, the most powerful thing you can ever give is your total absence. It can be the best gift or the most devastating blow you can deal anyone. When you walk, you’re telling them, “You’re on your own now.” If you’ve been good to them and they didn’t appreciate it, they’ll probably realize what a great thing they’ve ruined by their own hand while you move onto better things. If you’re toxic or just downright incompatible, they’ll eventually realize what a great gift you’ve given them. Either way, removing yourself from someone’s life entirely is a profound way to change both your life and theirs.
- People often forget that every day in a relationship is them saying “yes” to that person. Think about it. If you’re really not happy, you always can just drop your partner like a rock. By choosing to stay with that person, you’re showing how much you appreciate them day after day. You’re saying you know you’re better off with them than without them, and you’re saying that the relationship has stood the test of time for as long as you’ve been together. That’s a pretty powerful statement if you think about it — and it’s a statement that gets stronger every day.
