Having been raised by a single father since before I hit puberty definitely changed the way I behave, especially when it comes to my relationships with men. Here’s how my close relationship with my dad helped form the way I interact with guys in general:
- I’m not super mushy when it comes to dating. I love romance as much as the next girl, but I don’t care about over-the-top gestures or lavish presents. Material things mean nothing to me. I want the little everyday things that really matter. If a guy says what he means and does what he says, I’m happy with that.
- I understand that men can be sensitive too, and I love that. My dad is one of the most sensitive men I know. I can literally give him any gift or card, no matter how unsentimental, and he’s bound to end up crying. It’s kind of hilarious and super endearing. Growing up with him taught me that men have feelings too, even when they’re loath to reveal them.
- I always try to see things from a guy’s point of view. Maybe it’s a little easier for me because I grew up in a household where I was the only girl. Maybe it’s a little more difficult because no matter what, men still baffle me a bit and I don’t know why. Either way, I do make a concerted effort to see where a guy is coming from, even if it seems completely illogical to me.
- I know that love takes many forms. Men are just as individual as women, and they all love in their own unique ways just like we do. It takes the right fit for two people to work out. Love doesn’t always look like I think it will, and I’ve ended up with some guys I never thought I would love but eventually adored. Just because the way I love a man doesn’t look like other people think it should doesn’t mean that it isn’t valid.
- I know that not all men are awful — they just aren’t perfect. Yes, there are definitely crappy dudes out there. No, I don’t tolerate any kind of mistreatment or misogyny or abuse — ever. On the other hand, there are a lot of really good men in the world who don’t get their fair share of appreciation from women. Sure, they may do knuckle-headed crap sometimes, but they mean well. I always try to give good men a break when they mess up.
- It taught me that even wonderful men find women utterly confusing. They can’t help it. Even the sweetest, kindest men are completely baffled by our complexity sometimes. This doesn’t mean they don’t love us, support us, and think that we deserve only the best the world has to offer. It just means they probably don’t understand our subtle hints or pointed remarks.
- I know what I deserve because I had a wonderful role model. I was not only raised to be a strong and independent woman, but my dad also taught me that I deserve the best in a partner. He showed me what I can have and gave me hope that it does exist out there, no matter how difficult it is to find at times. That’s what keeps me from settling for someone who doesn’t treat me well.
- I’m loving but not needy. I was raised to know that I don’t need a guy to complete me. I’m the most affectionate and thoughtful girlfriend a guy could ever have, but I like my space and independence. I believe there’s nothing better than two people who prefer to be alone but choose to spend their time together. Thanks to my dad, I don’t think that co-dependence is real love.
- I try not to over analyze relationships because I know that guys don’t. There’s no point in driving myself crazy over every little thing when my partner is most likely oblivious to whatever is agonizing me. A lot of men think and live fairly logically and simply, so I try not to read into their every move. I take the more direct approach: if something is bothering me, I bring it up.
- I love hard and try to keep my priorities straight. My dad always gave me unconditional love and made sure that his kids came first. Having such a strong, but tender male role model taught me to give my all when I love someone and also not to sweat the small stuff; it’s not important. I care about the way someone treats me on a daily basis, not how much money he can spend on me. A man can tell me all the pretty things in the world but it won’t matter if he doesn’t back it up with action.
