When Your Relationship Starts Stressing You Out, It’s Time To Leave

There’s a difference between being annoyed with your partner at times (which is normal) and being frustrated as hell with your relationship as a whole. You can justify it all you want and try to count the reasons you should stay together or you can accept that the relationship has become toxic and end it ASAP. If you notice any of these signs, you really need to get out:

  1. Fights have become the norm. It’s reached the point where you’re always arguing about something, even when you’re in public. It’s mentally draining but part of you is still trying to cling on to the person who you think you love. Neither of you can let go but neither of you wants to stay — and that’s when the relationship becomes toxic. When you start feeling like you’re being accused or constantly blamed for things that are out of your control, it’s best to get out before it gets any worse.
  2. You prefer being alone more than being in their company. Sure, it’s fine if you want some alone time, but if the idea of being alone sounds much more appealing than spending time with your partner, that’s not a good sign. Instead of getting butterflies when you’re with them, you feel tired and frustrated. The relationship has lost its spark already and unfortunately, that leaves little hope for a future with them.
  3. You don’t feel at ease when you’re with them. You should feel comfortable around your partner but most of the time you don’t. You feel tense because you’re constantly overanalyzing their every movement and mentally preparing yourself for another argument. That’s not normal. If they’re not making you feel relaxed then they’re not the right person for you.
  4. You don’t trust them and they don’t trust you. Without that trust, what’s keeping you together? It’s only a matter of time before these paranoid thoughts and accusations tear down your relationship. If that’s not something you can talk about and resolve then sadly it’s not going anywhere. Those doubts are there for a reason, so trust your gut.
  5. Those closest to you can see that there’s something wrong. If your friends, family or colleagues are worried about you or showing their concerns about your relationship, don’t assume that they’re being anything but caring towards you. These are the people who know you really well and they can tell when something isn’t right. Listen to what they’re saying because they might save you from a relationship that’s making you unhappy.
  6. You don’t feel excited when you hear from them. At the start, you would get butterflies just from reading their latest text, but now that’s worn off and you don’t really know how you feel about them anymore. There’s no instant excitement when you hear about their day and you struggle to keep a conversation going without it leading up to an argument. It feels like the love isn’t there anymore.
  7. You don’t open up to them anymore. You should feel like you can talk to your partner about anything that’s on your mind, but lately you seem to be terrified of saying the wrong things or putting yourself in a position where you can be judged or hurt. Someone who really loves you would never make you feel uneasy about opening up to them, and that’s why the relationship is inevitably going to fall apart.
  8. You feel unsettled when you’re with them. If at any point your partner makes you feel unsafe or uneasy, even if it’s just by being in their presence, then listen to that voice telling you that something is wrong. Trust me, something is wrong. When you feel like something is off, it means something likely is. There’s no reason you should stay around any longer.
  9. You don’t see a future with them. Your relationship doesn’t give you that sense of security and comfort that it should because you always feel like a breakup could be just around the corner. It makes you feel unsettled, but it’s not something that you can confide in your partner about. If the thought of them being in your future doesn’t make you feel excited then they’re clearly not your forever person.
  10. You question if you love them/if they love you. As soon as you start doubting their feelings for you, alarm bells should be ringing. If they’re making you feel like they don’t love you then they probably don’t. Words mean nothing if they’re not willing to prove how they feel about you. The same applies to when you start doubting your own feelings about them. When you love someone, you don’t question it. You shouldn’t feel guilty for falling out of love with someone. If being with them doesn’t feel right and it’s making you feel stressed, you’re better off being single.
Coralle is a freelance writer with an interest in relationships, women's health and parenting. In her free time, she enjoys reading, watching new Netflix shows and spending time with family.
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