Nobody wants to seem desperate, but if you’re not careful, you can end up looking super needy even if you’re not trying to. These things might seem harmless at first, but over time, they’re going to make you look super clingy to the guy you’re dating:
- Always initiating the conversation Maybe he used to initiate, but the last several times you’ve talked have been because you were the one reaching out. Honestly, you’re pretty sure that if you weren’t calling or messaging him, he’d be AWOL. You try to wait and play it cool, but then you get impatient and contact him anyway. Don’t do it. He’ll make an effort if he’s worth it, and if he doesn’t, you should retain your dignity by just letting him go.
- Texting too much He’s not one of your girlfriends, so don’t text him like one. Maybe your BFF doesn’t get annoyed if she comes back to her phone and has twenty messages from you, but the guy you’re seeing will. You have a different dynamic with your besties than you do with the guy you’re dating. If you’re texting him pages and pages of messages, you’ll look needy.
- Getting mad when he doesn’t text you Maybe he forgot you asked him a question somewhere within that last paragraph you sent him. Maybe he never answered at all. He’s probably not ignoring you on purpose. There’s a good chance he literally just got distracted and forgot to text back. When you get annoyed with him for it, even if you just show it by sending a “?” to him, you look silly.
- Clinging to him at home Just because you’re hanging out together doesn’t mean you have to be right next to each other at all times. Don’t be that girl who hangs all over him while he’s trying to cook dinner. It’s okay if you aren’t constantly cuddling. Physical contact is great if it happens naturally, but trying to force it is never a good idea.
- Clinging to him in public If you’re all over him when the two of you go out, you’re just going to embarrass him and yourself. Have some self-respect and show your confidence by letting him have his space. He’s more likely to want to be at your side if you aren’t demanding it. No one likes excessive PDA anyway.
- Asking his advice on every little thing You survived before you knew him. Why is it that now he’s your boyfriend, you can’t seem to do anything without finding out what he thinks first? You have your own brain, so use it. It’s fine to get his opinion every once in a while, but not being able to decide what to eat for breakfast without his input is too much.
- Fishing for compliments Nothing looks needier or more insecure than constantly requiring positive feedback. You were once single and didn’t get constant compliments, and you managed just fine then. Don’t talk down about yourself just so he’ll tell you how great you are. Confidence is way sexier than neediness.
- Complaining all the time No one likes a complainer. If you air every little grievance to your boyfriend, he’ll get sick of it really quickly. You shouldn’t need to speak that negatively all the time — let that small stuff go and move on. You’ll be happier and look more mature if you pick your battles rather than whining over everything that doesn’t go your way.
- Nagging him to spend more time with you This is really only permissible if you seriously never see the guy, and in that case, why are you dating anyway? You need to keep your independence or risk seeming like a stage-five clinger. Nothing will drive a man away faster than requiring that he spend every moment with you.
- Refusing to give him space You can’t be upset with the guy for wanting to keep his life and his friends. That’s only normal, and honestly, you should want to do the same for yourself. The best thing you can do is give him free rein to live his life and keeping doing what he likes. When you get upset that he wants a night away from you, you look needy and selfish.
