I’ve always known that I don’t want kids — ever since I was one myself, in fact. It’s not that I hate children or look down on women who choose to start families, it’s just not the path I want my life to take and I’ve never wavered on that. When I was 26, I chose to get sterilized and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Here’s why I knew it was right for me:
- Frankly, I don’t want my body to change. My body is nowhere near perfect, but a baby would ruin it further. The idea of pregnancy and birth completely grosses me out. I would like to keep my vajayjay intact. I don’t want to experience that pain. Plus, there are all of the other physical symptoms: peeing all the time, heartburn, etc. None of these things make the idea of pregnancy remotely appealing.
- Kids are expensive AF. I am definitely NOT rich, but kids are so damn expensive! Diapers, food, clothes, college… it would never end. I make a much better dog mom, anyway. Being a dog mom requires some money, but at least they don’t go to college. They don’t have to have clothes. (My dogs are spoiled and sometimes have clothes, though.) Dog food and dog toys are a whole lot cheaper than having one more human mouth to feed.
- I enjoy my freedom. Another thing you lose with kids is your freedom. I would love to be able to travel. I love to just be able to spend my days doing whatever I want to do, even if that’s nothing at all. I can make spur of the moment plans to go out with friends without having to hire a babysitter. Even the simple freedom of going to the store on my own would be gone if I had kids. I can buy my own junk food, and I don’t have to share it with anyone. I was always told that parents have to put their children first. I simply can’t do that, and I don’t want to.
- I never have to worry about having an “accident.” I had already made the decision to never have children, so it’s wonderful to not have to worry about having any accidents. I also don’t have painful periods anymore, which is really amazing. Being able to enjoy sex without that worry makes it so much better.
- I suffer from a chronic mental illness and don’t want to pass that down. I’m bipolar, so I couldn’t stand the idea of passing that onto a child. The anxiety and depression can be debilitating. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, let alone a child. I also would never be able to be off of my medications long enough to be pregnant. I know many women who suffer from mental illness and still have children and I don’t judge them, but it’s not something I’m comfortable with for myself.
- It would hold back my career. I’m trying to establish myself as a freelance writer. If I had to chase a kid around all day AND work, I would never get anything done. There’s a reason the stereotype of women “having it all” is so talked about and so impossible. In one way or another, you really do have to choose, and I choose my career.
- No more periods! Because I had endometriosis, I got my uterus taken out. I will never have a period again, and it’s pretty awesome. I didn’t need my reproductive system for anything anyway, so this is yet another bonus.
- I’m selfish. I realize it and I own it. To be a good parent, you have to be selfless. I’m not. I would totally screw up a kid because I’d be resentful on everything I was missing out on and everything I had to give up to my child (which I would because I’m not a terrible human being). I like putting myself first, and maybe admitting that to myself is one of the most selfless things I could do.
- I didn’t get that maternal instinct. Everyone seems to assume that all women want children. That’s not true. Choosing not to have them is a perfectly valid life choice. I’ve never felt the desire to be a mother and that doesn’t make me any less of a woman or a less desirable partner for a guy, either. It’s just not for me, and that’s okay.
