The Woman’s Guide To Getting Out Of The Friend Zone

Nothing’s more frustrating than being into a super hot guy, only to have him call you his buddy or some other non-romantic term. Just like that, you’re in the friend zone. He’s treating you like one of the guys and talking about that cute girl he met last week and you just want to jump and scream, “Hey! Hot girl right here!” If you play your cards right, you might just be able to grab his attention and get him to see you as more than a friend.

Play it cool. If you start begging and pleading for him to give you a chance, you might lose him altogether. You’re not getting out of the friend zone over night. Take your time and play it cool. Patience is definitely a must in this case.

Date other guys and talk about it. If he’s treating you like one of the guys, then act like it. It’s amazing how a guy suddenly notices a woman as soon as she starts dating someone else. Avoid dating within the circle of friends or he might avoid you due to the bro code. While you don’t have to get serious, date someone while you’re waiting and don’t forget to tell him all about it. A little jealousy can be healthy.

Flirt with him. This should be a given, but some women give up when they’re labeled as a friend. Don’t give up! Try some friendly flirting. It doesn’t have to be anything overtly sexual, but make sure you’re giving off the right signals. As a plus, his friends will likely notice and ask him about it.

Dress up a little. The guy’s probably used to seeing you dressed casually. Suggest hanging out at a nicer restaurant, bar or club. The idea is to have a valid reason to dress up a little. Of course, you could also tell him you have a date later and didn’t want to have to go home to change. Make him see you as a woman, not one of the guys. Go ahead and break out your little black dress and heels.

Get him one on one. Guys get distracted easily when they’re with their friends. You might be flirting your ass off, but he’s oblivious. The solution is simple — get him one on one. Find an activity you know he loves and ask him to hang out with you. Try making sure his other friends are busy at the time. Now’s your chance to really flirt and show him the signs he’s been missing.

Play a new role. No, I’m not talking about sexual role playing. You’re in the friend zone, so no sexy time allowed… yet. Try to figure out how the guy sees you. Does he think of you as a little sister? Are you more like his best guy friend? Are you his wing woman? Maybe you’re his problem solver. Work to change how he sees you. It’ll change your friendship a little, but if you work slowly, his perception will change.

Give him some space. No, he won’t forget you. The problem is that he sees you all the time. How does he even know what he’s missing? Make some excuse to spend less time with him. It could be you’re dating someone or you’re involved in a new hobby. Whatever it is, give him a chance to truly miss having you around. The more he misses you, the more he thinks about you. Suddenly, you’re stepping out of the friend zone and you have a real chance.

Ask him to help out. Give him a reason to spend more time with you and get involved in your life. Ask him to help out with small or big things. Maybe you need help moving or painting a room. Maybe you need a partner for a charity event. The more things he can help you with, the more one on one time you get. Plus, he’ll start seeing how valuable he is to your life.

Tell him how you feel. After you’ve done some legwork, it’s time to finally tell him how you feel. You should probably reserve this conversation for when you think he’s starting to show interest or if you’ve given it your all and you still can’t tell. Sometimes being upfront is best. Maybe he was just afraid of ruining the friendship. If he turns you down, at least you know how he really feels and you can move on.

Make a move. You’ve given every obvious sign, but he’s still not responding how you want. Get him alone and make a move. Now’s your chance to make things physical. Tell him there’s something you’ve wanted to do for a while and kiss him. He might be shocked at first, but if he’s in to you, he’ll respond. If you’re not quite that brave yet, do small things like touch his arm, hug him, lean against him  or whatever type of physical contact you can get.

Make him sensitive. I’m talking about emotionally, so minds out of the gutter! You’ll need him away from his friends for this one. Steer the conversation to an emotionally charged topic such as past heartaches or deep fears. The idea is to get him to pour out his heart to you. We all know what happens now. You’re both all mushy and the next thing you know, the two of you are tangled up together on the floor, ripping clothes off. You’re definitely out the friend zone at that point.

The friend zone happens to everyone at some point. It sucks, but with some work, you can change his mind and make him give you a chance.

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