There are countless great guys out there, and yet here I am, still wanting him. He’s the exact opposite of the kind of guy I should want and I know he’d be terrible for me, but I can’t stop being attracted to him. I can’t figure out why for sure, but I’m guessing that these are a few of the reasons I can’t walk away:
- He’s not always an a-hole. Sometimes, he’s super sweet. He goes out of his way to make me happy, he seems sincere when he tells me nice things, and he generally treats me exactly the way I’d want to be treated by a potential boyfriend. I guess those small moments of greatness are all I need to keep me hanging on to the hope that all of his asinine moments are just flukes… even though deep down, I know that’s not true.
- I kind of like the “bad boy” vibe. Ugh, I really do hate to admit this. I should’ve grown out of this “phase” a long time ago, but I’m still at a stage in my life where I really don’t want a clean-cut, goody two-shoes type of guy. Unfortunately, that often means I steer too far to the other side of the spectrum and find guys like him instead. There have to be guys out there who have that “edge” I’m into and won’t treat me like crap, but until I find them, I guess I’ll just keep crushing on jerks like this guy.
- I’m addicted to the chase. Another “quirk” that I really should’ve grown out of by now, I always go after guys who would never say “yes” to me right off the bat. Maybe that’s why I’m so into him even though he leads me on, flirts with other women, and acts so hot and cold with me. I know he’d make a TERRIBLE boyfriend, but just getting him to the point where he’d want to commit to me is what’s keeping me hooked on him.
- Part of me feels like I can change him. I know, I know — this is a horribly unhealthy mentality to have. And yet, some stupid, immature fragment of my mind is still convinced that I’m the girl who can (and will) change his douchebag ways. I know that a ton of women have come before me and none of them were successful in turning him to the light side, but I can’t help but hope that all he really needs is the right girl to turn him into a better man. I really need to stop watching so many chick flicks, huh?
- His “good” moments are always really, really good. It’s not that he simply switches between being awful and being half decent — whenever he’s NOT being a loser, he’s practically the man of my dreams. Because of this, I inadvertently look past all his terrible qualities because I know how good he CAN be when he actually puts forth the effort. Sure, these moments only come around every once in a while, but they’re apparently enough to outweigh the 70 percent of the time he acts like an inconsiderate ass.
- I probably have serious issues. I’m not stupid and I know that all the reasons I’m attracted to him aren’t healthy. Blame it on daddy issues or just an insanely low sense of self-esteem, but I can’t bring myself to just make my mind let go of him and move on to someone who would be better for me. My attraction to him is likely just a symptom of something I should probably be working out in therapy.
- He’s a talented manipulator. He knows exactly what he’s doing when he makes all his moves to keep me hooked on him. He’s mastered the art of giving and taking just enough to maintain his distance while still making me hope that he’ll fall for me. I don’t know where he learned all this, but even though I recognize all the tactics he’s using, I’m still falling for them. His kind of manipulation is an artform used by losers who know what they’re doing, and I hate that it’s working on me.
- He’s confident. Yes, he ignores my texts half the time, schedule and then cancel dates, and then pretend like he never messed up in the first place, but it’s all because he knows that despite all that, women like me will still go after him. He has a level of confidence that borders on arrogance, and yep, I kinda dig it. I know I should go for guys whose self-assured nature doesn’t make them terrible people, but I can’t deny that the fact that he knows he can get the girls he wants is kind of hot.
- He makes me jealous. As much as I hate dating games, I know I’m playing right into his. I’m definitely the jealous type, and even though I have absolutely no right to feel this way, my blood pressure still rises whenever he’s sweet with me and then turn right around and publicly flirts with some other girl on one of her Instagram photos. Rather than just leaving him for all the other girls to deal with, it just makes me more competitive. He becomes a prize to be won… even though he’s a super crappy prize. Ugh.
