I used to be hurt when a guy abruptly walked out of my life without warning or even so much as a goodbye. I would spend so much time obsessing and trying to dissect the situation to figure out what exactly went wrong, but screw that. Ghosting would upset my entire equilibrium and I seriously struggled to bounce back. Now if a guy goes AWOL, I don’t give him another thought — here’s why.
- If he ghosted me, he’s clearly a coward. Guys just don’t really get it — they’re not only cowardly when it comes to ending things with any sense of decency, they’re actually clueless as to how. No matter how many times I spell out for them, they still refuse to man up when it comes to ending a relationship (or an almost relationship) with me with any class. It really is their own issue, not mine.
- The right guy doesn’t leave. The right guy isn’t going to walk out of my life without a word, so why should I care about the ones who do? The only thing I chase is my goals — I won’t need to chase the guy who’s truly meant for me. He’ll stay willingly.
- I deserve to be with a grown man. I want a guy who’s mature enough to know that sometimes tough conversations need to be had when you’re in a relationship with someone you care about. Any guy who can’t even tell me straight up that he’s not into me or that he’s looking for something different in his life isn’t a guy who’s going to communicate well in a relationship with me in the end. I want more than that in a guy.
- It’s not worth my energy. I could continue to spend countless hours and glasses of wine with girlfriends trying to figure out what exactly went wrong or why the guy I thought things were going well with turned out to be such a jerk… or I can just move on and save my energy for someone who actually does give a crap about me. I’m tired of trying to figure it out. I’d rather keep moving towards something and someone better.
- He did me a favor by showing his true colors early on. When a guy ghosts me, I used to let it get to me on a deep level. It would screw me up emotionally and make me question why I wasn’t even worth so much as even a goodbye, but that was destructive. The guy isn’t ghosting me because of anything I did or said — it’s because of what HE can’t do or say. It’s better for me to know sooner than later what kind of guy he really is.
- I’m no longer being strung along. If he goes MIA on me, it’s actually a huge blessing in disguise. From that moment on, I’m no longer tied up and feeling hopeful about something that really doesn’t have any real potential for a future. If there was a future, he wouldn’t have disappeared in the first place. Realistically, he did me a favor by ending things the way he did — quick and only momentarily painless, like pulling off a band-aid.
- He saved me from wasting my time. Once he goes MIA, my time is free again to move forward with my life. Yes, it sucks when a guy doesn’t have the decency to be an actual human being with compassion, but the silver lining is that my time is clearly no longer being wasted by yet another player. The less time I waste on something or someone with zero potential, the better.
- He obviously can’t communicate like a grown-up. Communication is a big deal to me in any and every relationship I’m in, even my friendships. I’m a grown woman and I want the people I invite into my life to extend me the same courtesy of being open and honest, even if it hurts me. As I said, I’m looking for a grown-up man who can face the tough stuff by my side, not a little boy whose voice shakes when he speaks.
- We’re clearly not meant to be. If he’s really the guy for me, he’s not going to ghost me. Nothing will pull a man meant for me away. He’s going to keep contacting me, keep asking me out and keep making me a priority in his life. Leaving myself open for the guy who’s meant for me and who will treat me right is infinitely better than allowing myself to wallow over someone who can’t even give me the closure I deserve.
- I’m free to move on with my life guilt-free. Finally, FREEDOM is the grand reward of being ghosted by a guy who’s not into me. I used to hate ghosting, but when I truly think about it, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. After all, isn’t it better to be able to move on with my life knowing that I’m not missing out on the guy who couldn’t show me any sense of decency?
