It Wasn’t That You Broke Up With Me — It’s That You Did It In The Worst Way Possible

Not every relationship is going to last forever. I’m not naïve — I know that most couples will eventually break up. You fell out of love with me and I can’t blame you for that no matter how bad it may have hurt me. I can’t hate you for breaking my heart, but I do hate you for the way you did it.

  1. You never gave me a real explanation. I wanted an explanation of how we went from so in love to breaking up seemingly overnight, but you couldn’t seem to give me that. It was like you were a completely different person than you were when we first got together. All you knew is that you didn’t love me anymore. There was nothing I did and no explanation as to how you fell out of love with me. It just happened.
  2. You tainted all of our memories. You lied to me for months, pretending like everything was okay. You knew I was a girl who could handle the truth, so why didn’t you feel you could tell me you were unhappy? After we broke up, I started to wonder how long you had been lying to me or if you had ever loved me. I didn’t know when our relationship started being fake and at that point, it felt like none of it was even real.
  3. You continued to lead me on. Not only did you lead me to believe you were so in love the whole time we were together but you also continued to share your affection after we broke up. You made me believe that we were going to get back together. You got my hopes up and then you ripped them away. You made me go through the terrible pain of heartbreak not once, but twice, and I don’t know how to forgive you for that.
  4. You made me wait while you figured out what you wanted. You had no regard for my time that you were wasting. I knew I wanted to be with you and you used how much I loved you against me. You kept me on the hook claiming that you just weren’t sure what you wanted. The truth is that you only kept me around in case you never found someone else. I was your backup plan.
  5. You blamed everyone but yourself. You took no responsibility for our breakup. You blamed your friends, your job, and even me. You couldn’t accept that your actions are what led to the demise of our relationship. Even worse, I started to blame myself too. You made me hate myself when really I should have hated you.
  6. You gave up on us. The worst part is, you didn’t fight for me. When our relationship got hard you decided to run rather than try to work things out. To you, I wasn’t worth the effort. All relationships take work, but you couldn’t cut it. You wanted everything to be easy all the time. I thought I was worth more to you than that, but in the end, you decided that giving up was just easier.
  7. You used me until you didn’t need me anymore. In the end, I realized that our relationship was all about you. You were so good to me when you needed me, but when you didn’t, you just tossed me to the side. When you were lonely and depressed, I was there for you, but anytime I needed you, you were nowhere to be found. You were selfish and I didn’t realize that until the end.
  8. You moved on too quickly. You moved on so fast that I felt incredibly disrespected. This wasn’t a short-term relationship. We didn’t have a fling. We were fully committed to each other but within weeks, you were fully committed to someone else. I know you didn’t love me anymore, but I thought it would at least take some time for you to get over the amazing relationship I thought we had.
  9. You wanted to stay friends. I knew I couldn’t do that and when I told you so, you made me out to be the bad guy. You didn’t think of how having you in my life was going to keep me from moving on. You only cared about yourself. I needed to do what was best for me, but yet again, you couldn’t understand that and all I could do was remind you that this was your fault, not mine.
  10. You talked crap about me to our friends. You and I were best friends before we got together and we always ran in the same circle. After we broke up, though, you tried to kick me out of it. You talked crap about me to everyone and tried to turn them against me. You made our private breakup public, and that’s something I can’t forgive.
  11. You acted like the victim. Even though you were the one breaking up with me, you acted like you were the one suffering a broken heart. You acted like you were in just as much pain as I was, but you weren’t. You were the cause of my pain and somehow you thought you’d still be able to cry on my shoulder. I was the one who was broken and you tried to take even that away from me.
  12. You didn’t even have the guts to do it in person. It wasn’t a short relationship. We spent years together planning a future. Despite all of that, you couldn’t show me the tiniest bit of human decency by doing it in person? That showed me just how little respect you had for me. I deserved for you to look me in the eye, no matter how hard it would have been, it should have been in person.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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