‘Why Men Love Bitches’ Is Pointless & Outdated

Why Men Love Bitches has been the single woman’s dating bible since it was published 16 years ago, and while author Sherry Argov does have a few solid points, things have changed a lot since the turn of the century, making her advice outdated and occasionally totally pointless. Here are just a few thing Why Men Love Bitches gets wrong about dating in 2016:

  1. “Sometimes a man deliberately won’t call just to see how you’ll respond.” Most of the time these days, he’s not calling because he’s ghosting you, not because he’s waiting to see how you’ll respond. In fact, he’s probably hoping you won’t respond at all and make ending things that much easier on him.
  2. “If you tell him you’re not interested in jumping into a relationship with both feet, he’ll set out to try and change your mind.” Wrong. Hook-up culture loves women who aren’t advertising that they want commitment because short term courtships are all the rage. Be upfront about what you’re looking for early on to avoid wasting time on another dead end, almost relationship.
  3. “If a man has to wait before he sleeps with a woman, he’ll not only perceive her as more beautiful, he’ll also take the time to appreciate who she is.” This is true some of the time, but it’s pretty rare. Nowadays if you hold out on sex in a game-y way, he can just as easily swipe right on someone else who will give it up sooner. Do what you want on your own terms. A real man who respects you won’t judge you no matter what you decide. Let your own gut lead the way.
  4. “Let him think he’s in control. He’ll automatically start doing things you want done because he’ll always want to look like a king in your eyes.” Seriously? Women are more successful than ever these days and no woman needs to dumb herself down or relinquish control over herself just to make a man feel better about himself. Empires are built when two people are equal powerhouses. The right man will respect your independence and he’ll only be a king if you’re the queen beside him.
  5. “When you appear softer and more feminine, you appeal to his instinct to protect. When you appear more aggressive, you appeal to his instinct to compete.” If a man feels threatened by you for being your true and authentic self, he’s not the right man for you. You don’t need to act fake and play a part to earn your way into a man’s heart.
  6. “He’ll let a woman who becomes his doormat pay for dinner for the first couple of dates, but he wouldn’t think of it with his dream girl.” Some men still think this way, but more and more are straying away from this logic. A lot of men have high respect for women who offer to split the check because it shows she’s interested in being in his company for the sake of getting to know him, not for the sake of a free meal.
  7. “If you give him a feeling of power, he’ll want to protect you and he’ll want to give you the world.” So basically, we should lower ourselves in order to stroke his ego and make him feel better? Screw that. This is a major step back and a ridiculous one, at that. Treat him with the same basic respect and courtesy you want in return while maintaining your own sense of self. Don’t change yourself for the sake of having a relationship.
  8. “Men don’t respond to words. They respond to no contact.” Or, they think you’re just ghosting them and move the hell on. The reality is that we now live in a technology-driven world. Texting is easy and always readily available to make quick contact. When you withhold communication, you send the message that you’re totally playing a game, and he could resent that and move on to someone who’s not so immature.
close-link
close-link
close-link
close-link