Meeting a great guy is tough, and even one who seems amazing first could turn out to be a total jerk once you actually get to know him. While you can’t possibly know everything about a guy right away (wouldn’t that be nice!), you can know whether he’s worth investing time in or a disaster waiting to happen from the first meeting by paying attention to these 10 things:
- How he introduces himself. Does he shake your hand, give you a hug, a high-five, a kiss on the cheek? This matters. It’s not that one is better than the other, but his vibes will let you know what’s up. If you’re comfortable with how he introduced himself and he is too, that’s a good sign. If it’s awkward in more than the usual way or he seems disingenuous, don’t ignore that.
- The way he interacts with you. Â A gentleman will be polite and kind when he first meets you. He’ll be genuinely interested in what you’re saying and will make you actually feel like he cares. If the conversation flows easily and you feel comfortable and happy chatting with him, you know he’s someone worth talking to more. If it’s a struggle from the beginning, that tells you all you need to know.
- The way he interacts with others. Watching how he interacts with people he’s presumably not interested in sleeping with is important. Is he welcoming? Does he say hi to everyone? Does he ignore people? Does he make rude or obnoxious comments to the people in the room? You don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t treat everyone with a basic level of respect and courtesy.
- His attention span. This is huge. Can he even handle holding a conversation with you for longer than five minutes? Does he want to continue it and contribute to the content or does he make you feel like he’s just waiting for you to stop talking? Does he fidget and constantly look at his phone or actually make eye contact without being distracted? If he can’t manage the latter, it doesn’t bode well.
- The way he looks at you. Do his eyes say “I’m interested in you” or do they say “I’m interested in your body”? Maybe you’re okay with him being physically attracted to you, which is important too, but the difference is deciphering whether he’s a good guy or a player, and that’s the truth. Which one do you really want?
- How he carries himself. How’s his posture? What’s he wearing? Does he show confidence when he walks and talks? Believe it or not, these are all very important. You don’t want a slouchy, incompetent dirtbag, do you? His body language and presentation have a lot to do with who he is and how he was brought up. If he can’t manage to clean himself up when he’s supposed to be trying to impress someone new, what would he be like if you were actually involved with him?
- What his general attitude is like. How does he speak about himself, others and life in general? Is he arrogant, cocky or conceited? Some guys have a bad habit as coming off sarcastic or forceful with their attitude if they aren’t too careful, and this is a huge turnoff. If a guy puts that little thought into his words, he probably doesn’t put much thought into anything.
- What he picks up from your conversation. Even the shortest of conversations can show you what a guy is all about. If he mocks, upsets or pokes fun at you or anything you say, run away. He will always be like this because it’s his nature and a defense mechanism for his lack of confidence. He should be focused on the good things you say and vibe off that. A little banter is fun, but if it comes off as mean-spirited or anything other than genuinely flirty, it’s a no-go.
- How he ends the conversation. Does he leave you feeling like you’ve had a satisfying conversation or does he make you feel like you just talked to a brick wall? A good guy that’s worth being with will always leave you wanting more, whether that’s another conversation or a makeout session. That’s the magic about meeting someone great — it really can feel like this even after just meeting. If it falls flat, it’s probably not worth pursuing any further.
- How he makes you feel. He can only do and say so much, and in the end it comes down to what you feel about him. Your gut feeling is spot on, I can promise you that. Sometimes it takes a little longer to know how you feel about someone, but for your own sake, save it and move on if it doesn’t feel right from the beginning.
