Saying that modern relationship statuses are confusing is pretty much the understatement of the century. Considering how complex the dating world has become, it’s easy to see why we’ve developed new relationship statuses for to accommodate different romantic situations. Still, that doesn’t make them any less obnoxious or easy to translate. Here are just a few you’ve probably heard of or even experienced yourself.
- Friends With Benefits Basically, this is the relationship status of two people who don’t want titles but do want sex. FWBs might not actually be friends, but they take on the term anyway. In many cases, this can lead to a relationship. However, that doesn’t mean you should accept this status. If what you want to be is his girlfriend, you definitely shouldn’t. Being offered a friends with benefits position is often something that happens when guys don’t want to be seen with you. That, or they just don’t want to be monogamous.
- The Side Piece If you’re the other woman, you might be the side piece. In this scenario, there’s a good chance that the woman in question knows that the guy’s taken. At the very least, she knows something’s not quite right. Unfortunately, the main partner often is totally unaware of her guy’s cheating ways. Sadly, guys now act like having a side piece is a good thing. In reality, it just means that they’re cheaters.
- In An Open Relationship This is different from being a side piece since everyone involved in the relationship is consenting to having others join in. Being in an open relationship can work for some, but it will also mean that you’ll never be his one and only. However, open relationships can benefit all parties involved. Is it worth it? It’s all up to you to decide.
- In An “Open” Relationship If someone is in an “open” relationship, it basically means that it’s not a real open relationship. That’s because it’s skewed to benefit only one partner. If one partner gets a lot more action than the other, it’s likely an “open” relationship. If that same partner throws a tantrum every time the other partner wants to see someone else, it’s definitely an “open” relationship. “Open” relationships are basically one partner accepting that the other will cheat on them. It’s never a good status.
- In A “Sugar” Relationship Basically, one person is buying another person’s affection in this relationship. Monogamy is not likely, nor is it usually encouraged in this arrangement.
- It’s Complicated This is most often a sign that the relationship is about to fall apart. When a relationship gets downgraded to “It’s Complicated” on Facebook, that generally means that the couple is fighting and may break up soon.
- “Talking To” Someone This means that you’re interested in someone (or multiple people), but haven’t made the move to ask them on an official date yet. “Talking to” someone typically means that you’re moving in a direction towards becoming official with them… or that you’re biding your time to avoid commitment altogether. A good rule of thumb is that “talking to” someone shouldn’t last more than three months.
- The Booty Call This is a status that means the person you’re with isn’t really more than a slab of meat to you. You have zero interest in their personality, and the only time you talk to them is when you’re asking them to hit it. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as long as both parties are on the same page.
- The Placeholder If any relationship statuses are painful, it’s the Placeholder relationship status. Placeholders are basically the people who you’re in a relationship with until something better comes along. The worst part about being in this situation is that you generally don’t realize you’re a Placeholder until you’ve been dumped.
- The Backup A Backup is a Placeholder who never got the official “dating” status to begin with. Though it’s a little less brutal, most Backups won’t have to feel like they were duped into wasting time with someone who views them as a second choice. They usually will know… and then dump their partner’s asses.
- Unrequited infatuation You’re so “in love” with the object of your affection that you don’t even notice anyone else. Sometimes, the people you’re missing out on are way better suited to you, too. What’s worse is that the person you like pretty much has no idea you exist. That, or they only see you as a friend. Yikes.
- In It “For The Kids” This is the relationships that died a long time ago. However, it hasn’t resulted in a breakup because the two who are together had a child together. Or a mortgage. Or something else that’s very expensive. If your relationship status is this, you may want to just get a divorce lawyer. Life is just too short for a crappy love life.
