If you’re spending a whole lot of time together but aren’t quite exclusive, face it — you’re in an almost relationship. You don’t know why you haven’t made things official, but it just hasn’t happened yet. If you’re holding out hope that he might go from your almost boyfriend to your actual one, you might be waiting in vain.
You’ve never met any of his friends. If you’ve been dating longer than a couple of months and you still haven’t met any of his friends, it’s not looking good. When a guy is really into you and sees a future, he’ll want to invite you into his world. It might not happen immediately, but if you’re a few months in, the friends should be in the picture by now.
He never picks you as his plus-one. He goes to weddings and holiday events and doesn’t even think to invite you, instead deciding to attend all on his own. When you pull him on it, he likely feeds you some BS about thinking you wouldn’t be interested, but it’s really that he’s not interested in taking you.
You can’t leave stuff at his place. Whenever you sleep over at his place, he makes sure you take all your stuff with you when you go, and if you happen to forget something, it’s way more awkward than it should be. Sure, some guys are naturally freaked out when you leave things behind accidentally, but if he’s adamant about making sure you don’t make yourself too at home, he’s likely not ready for any kind of real commitment.
When he talks about a future, it’s his future. His vacation plans and five-year plan consists of solely his wants and needs. The word “we” never comes into the picture because it never enters his mind.
His ideal relationship is nothing like the one you share. If he’s been dropping hints about qualities he’s looking for in a woman and relationship and they’re literally the polar opposite of everything you are/your relationship is, you need to exit stage left.
You rarely spend the day after a night together. That’s not to say that every sleepover requires a day long excursion the following day, but if you’re spending nights together and leaving promptly in the morning instead of making plans to have breakfast or coffee together at the very least, it’s time to keep moving forward with your own options, because you deserve better.
He’s still exploring other options, and you know it. If he’s still chatting up girls on Tinder or OKCupid and going on other dates, he’s not fully convinced about you yet. It’s possible that he could weed out the other potentials eventually, but you should ask yourself if it’s worth it to stick around to find out.
He avoids talking about commitment like the plague. When conversations steer in the direction of locking things down and becoming official, he gets awkward and starts immediately talking about something else instead, he’s probably not thinking about commitment for himself anytime soon.
He refuses to be affectionate in public. If you go out in public and act more like buddies than a cute couple holding hands and occasionally sneaking kisses in here and there, it’s a good sign he’s definitely not ready to take the relationship public. If this is still going on after a couple months, you’re wasting your time.
You’re afraid of bringing up “the talk” because you already know the outcome. If any of these things are things happening with the guy you’re dating, you’re probably scared to ask where things are going, because ultimately, you already know the answer — nowhere.
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