10 Tenets Of Lesbian Sex That Straight Guys Should Live By Too

Lesbian sex is different than straight sex, and this isn’t just because of the literal mechanics (though that’s a big part of it). Mostly, it’s because women experience sex differently than men for a whole host of emotional and psychological reasons. Never fear! There’s hope for straight men yet—as long as they take these 10 tenets of girl-on-girl sex to heart.

Foreplay is vital! Women need foreplay. Guys tend to way overestimate our ability to get horny enough for any kind of insertion. We need some special attention before they go to town. This is what’s great about doing it with a lady—she knows. She knows we need some time to get in the right space because she needs that time too. But you don’t have to have a vagina to understand one! I know women in porn are ready to be taken at any given moment, but real women are not like that. Real life is not porn.

Sex is whatever you want it to be. Many people think the definition of sex is when the penis goes in the vagina. This is not only untrue for same-sex couples, but it should be untrue for all couples. Sex is what you make it and you can have sex however you want. As long as you’re two consenting adults doing what feels good, there’s no reason to agonize over not having “real” sex. Do what feels right and what feels right for your partner.

Get to know the clitoris. Remember it exists and remember to get friendly with it. When women have sex with each other, we know to go straight for this before any penetration, and to spend a long time getting to know the location, size, and sensitivity of this special button on our partners (it’s a little bit different for everyone, so don’t go assuming all ladies have the same kind of clitoris). I firmly believe all couples should do this—it leads to much better sex.

Focus on the other person for a while. The main issue with penetration-centric sex is that it can be hard to focus just on your partner’s pleasure, especially if you’re the one doing the penetrating. Lying back and hoping for the best also doesn’t do much for anyone. But taking turns focusing on pleasuring your partner greatly increases your chances of leaving them satisfied. Women pretty much have to do this when they have sex with each other, and it’s extremely rewarding for both parties.

Communicate. You don’t have to play out sex like it’s in a movie—talk to your partner! Ask questions, check in, make sure they’re feeling good, and let them know how good you’re feeling. Talking is pretty much required for us gays since we define sex in so many different ways, but it should be required for all.

Be careful with penetration. Penetration can really hurt if not done correctly, and women know that. That’s why we tend to be careful with it, whether it’s with a strap-on, dildo, or even just fingers. Lubrication is key, and some women self-lubricate more than others. Make sure that vagina is all lubed up and ready to go, and take it as slow or as fast as your partner needs.

Be honest. We’ve all faked it with a guy, right? Or at least exaggerated how good something was? Well, it’s a bit harder to fake with a lady. She knows all the tricks. In any case, honesty is important in the bedroom for so many reasons. The biggest one is making sure both parties really are enjoying things. When you lie to your partner to spare their feelings, they aren’t going to change what they’re doing and you’re going to be left unsatisfied time and time again. So be honest.

Cuddle up. Cuddles are the best. Doesn’t matter if it’s before, after, or even unrelated to sex. Cuddling is a great way to get intimate and to recover after an intense sexual experience. Women know this and we provide each other with great aftercare.

Accessorize. If you’re two straight people having sex, it may feel strange to add accoutrements in the bedroom, but it can really enhance the experience. Lady-lovers who are ladies are masters of utilizing all manner of sex toys, and you don’t need to not have a penis to enjoy them. I especially recommend the vibrator.

Only have sex if everyone is in the mood. You don’t always need to have sex, and you should never have sex if you don’t feel like having it. If you’re not in the mood for sex, there are other ways to be intimate. We all make compromises in relationships and we go out of our way to please our partners, but having sex to just get it over with is never OK. Both partners should want it, and if one of them doesn’t, sex should not happen. This is a simple principle, but between two women in a sexual relationship, this is commonplace. It should be commonplace for everyone.

Read more:

Share this article now!

Jump to the comments