Long-term relationships are a beautiful thing, but they’re far from a fairy tale. When love is real, you’ll always feel safe, loved, and supported, but the world isn’t going to disappear and let you two love birds cuddle in peace until the end of time. Things are going to get real, so let go of these 11 expectations if you want to be happy:
He’ll constantly praise you on social media.
Sharing intimate details about your personal life on social media definitely isn’t for everyone. If he shows you he loves and appreciates you in person, why should he have to constantly post stuff about how much he’s obsessed with you? If he’s gotten rid of his “single” status and stays out of the DMs, that should be enough.
Love will complete you.
No one is magically complete just because they fall in love. Personal growth is a journey that never really ends — having a life partner by your side during that journey just makes it a little more tolerable.
You’ll always agree.
Healthy couples disagree. Some couples are generally on the same page, while others seem to disagree about nearly everything, from where to get pizza to how many hypothetical future dogs to own. The goal isn’t to combine your minds into one hybrid brain, incapable of independent thinking. You just need to respect each other’s dissenting opinions and find an amicable way to compromise.
He’ll always put you first.
You’re going to put yourself first sometimes, right? Why shouldn’t he? Of course there are many times when he should put you first, but you can’t be upset with someone for prioritizing themselves when it really matters. It’s necessary for everyone from time to time.
All you’ll need is each other.
It might feel that way when you’re in that honeymoon stage where you hardly ever get out of bed and seem to survive on PowerAde and takeout, but reality is going set in at some point. You’re going to need careers, friendships, hobbies, a safe place to live, an extra kidney to sell to Sallie Mae, etc. The struggles are easier to overcome with a good partner by your side, but you are absolutely going to need more things than just love.
He’ll never look at another woman.
Yes, he should be respectful of other women and courteous to your feelings, but you can’t expect him to never find another woman attractive for the rest of your lives. You’re going to see plenty of men you find attractive, but you’re not going to throw away the love of your life over it. Give your man some credit, and not think the worst of him if he admits to thinking someone else is hot.
Every day will be paradise.
Some days will be hard, some days will be forgettable. The belief that every day needs to be constant, pure joy just encourages people to throw away solid relationships just because they had a boring month or two. Life is long, and you can’t expect every day to be the relationship equivalent of Mardi Gras.
He’ll heal all your old relationship wounds.
Nope! Nothing heals emotional wounds but time. A great relationship will help take the sting away from those wounds and make all the past heartbreak worthwhile, but no relationship can magically transform your heart back to being shiny and new.
You’ll never have to explain why you’re upset.
He’s your boyfriend, not your psychic. He might not always get it without an explanation, but a real man can hear you and adjust his behavior if you take the time to talk it out.
You’ll always win the couples contest.
You can’t always be the happiest couple and you won’t always have the best Valentine’s Day gifts to share on Insta. Sometimes your friends will have the better dates and the more romantic gestures. You have to be secure enough in your relationship to occasionally let your girls take the spot light in the love department.
You’ll never have doubts.
Everyone has doubts. That’s just the reality of living in a world where you have choices. There’s nothing wrong with your relationship if you need to stop and wonder, “Is this really the right guy for me?” If your conclusion is yes, you’re fine. Questioning your decisions is a sign of maturity- it’s only the outcome of that line of questioning that matters.
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