Although it’s a turn-on to see your guy in the throes of pleasure from oral sex, sometimes the struggle is real and it’s not really not fun giving him head. Here are 11 struggles you’re likely to deal with during oral sex and how to cope with them:
It’s been a few minutes and your jaw already hurts.
He seems to be enjoying what you’re doing but you feel like your jaw is about to go into spasm. You don’t want to stop, though, because that would be awkward, so what do you do? A good tip is to bring your hands to the party. Mix up the oral sex with your hands and mouth to give him an interesting sensation while secretly saving your jaw.
It seems to be lasting longer than the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy.
He seems like he’s about to come, but no. He never does, and you’re stuck doing the same thing that you’re doing because it seems to be working, yet you’re wondering if it’s working enough because he just won’t finish! Ugh. It might be a good idea to slow down a bit. A small change of pace can actually intensify the feeling of pleasure, helping him to reach the finish line.
You don’t know if you should jump right in or tease him.
Should you tease him a lot before you get down to business or do guys want you to get started without all the frills and fuss? The jury’s still out on this one and it depends on the guy, so maybe try to figure out what he likes beforehand to prevent feelings of anxiety.
Your gag reflex is asserting itself. Strongly.
You’re getting into the oral sex but you feel like if he moves any further into your mouth, you’re going to start making retching sounds. Yeah, really sexy. To deal with the gag reflex, change your technique a little to lessen the pressure on your throat. Change your position so your boyfriend’s penis is parallel to your throat and be in control of his thrusting, such as by having your hands on his hips to slow him down.
You feel like you’re slobbering all over him.
You don’t want to give a dry oral sex, so you try to get your saliva going, but then it feels like you’re creating too much wetness. Ugh. What to do? The good news is that if it’s slobbery, it feels amazing, sort of like having lots of lube before sex. In fact, perhaps using flavored lube for oral sex would be better so you can give your salivary glands a bit of a break.
Not knowing if you should or shouldn’t play with his balls.
You might be tempted to touch his balls during oral sex, but that might not feel good for all guys. It’s worth asking him to find out. But be gentle with them! Stroke them with the tips of your fingers, give them soft kisses and tongue flicks. It’s a great way to change up your regular BJ routine.
You worry that you have to whip out the sexy BJ tricks.
You’ve probably read about interesting things you can do during oral sex, such as putting hot water or ice cubes in your mouth, or using the grapefruit technique. But honestly, if you don’t feel comfortable with doing those things, it’s better to leave them in the kitchen — otherwise, you’ll feel like a clown.
He comes in your mouth without first asking if it’s okay.
Ugh, no! Just because you’re giving him oral sex, it doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily going to be cool with his ejaculation in your mouth. And that’s okay — there’s no shame in being a spitter instead of a swallower. He’s got to clear it with you before going ahead.
You’re turned on AF but not getting your satisfaction.
Watching him wiggle and moan in pleasure when you’re giving him a oral sex can be a huge turn-on. But you might feel a little crappy because you can’t stop until he’s come, which means your pleasure gets put on the backburner. But it doesn’t have to. You could pleasure yourself with a free hand while you please him, or sit in a position that enables him to touch you while you go down on him.
You’re turned off by how funky he smells.
You’re down there and hope that he took a shower within the last three days because he doesn’t smell too fresh. It’s so gross. How to deal? Suggest a shower before giving him oral sex. You’ll feel so much better to head south after he’s been soaped up. If you’re really smooth, you can offer to get in there with him.
He doesn’t return the favor.
A guy who won’t give you oral sex has no business being your boyfriend. If you’re keen to go down on him but he never does the same for you, it’s unfair AF. Oral sex is sexy and naughty, plus it feels amazing – you deserve the pleasure! He’d better know that he’s got to go south sometimes if he wants his BJs to keep, um, coming.
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