11 Things Amazing Boyfriends Do—Is This Your Guy?

While men will come and go for most of us, we all have that one guy that we look back on and recall as the best boyfriend we ever had. Here’s the sign you’ve snagged him.

He lets you be yourself. In order for someone to qualify as the “best,” they need to let you be yourself, no matter what that entails. People have their good sides and their bad sides, and we can’t always keep that bad side under wraps. It’s that person who accepts the crappy sides of you who’s a keeper.

He gives you your space. Relationships can’t evolve unless the two people in them are given space to grow. A great (read: best) boyfriend realizes this and isn’t intimidated by letting you have your space to live your life and do what makes you happy, even if it doesn’t include him. Some of us need more alone time than others and it’s only men with a strong sense of self and confidence who can step back and let their partner do what they need to do.

He supports you in every way possible. From your goals to that haircut you got last year that was a mistake to the petty fight you had with your best friend, the best boyfriend always has your back and always supports you—especially when you feel like giving up.

He treats you as his equal. Although we may be living in 2019, there are places in the world and people that still don’t see men and women as equals. The best boyfriend is the one who doesn’t see you as the “weaker sex,” but rather an equally strong, radiant sex who just happens to be different from his own gender. Two things can be very different but still be equal and he knows that.

He’s an advocate for women’s rights. I’m of the feeling that you can’t truly love a woman without being a vocal advocate for women’s rights. You just can’t. Because of this, the best boyfriend is going to be a feminist who’s out there with you at the Women’s March in a vagina hat, shutting down people who tell sexist jokes and putting misogynists in their place. He’s going to be an ally and obviously vote accordingly.

He has his own life. It’s so important to find someone who has their own life. When you do, grab them and never let go! The best boyfriend is going to have his own friends, want his own space, and not need to hang onto you every second of every waking hour. He’s going to relish in his time away from you with his buddies because he knows it’s essential to a healthy relationship to have separate lives.

He has his own goals. Even more important than having his own life is having his own goals. While a partnership can share future goals like eventually getting married and/or having kids, from a professional standpoint, each person should have their own goals that have come from their own ambition and idea of success. The best boyfriend is going to constantly be working toward those goals while supporting you working toward yours as well.

He actually hears you. There’s a huge difference between listening and hearing, as they say. The best boyfriend doesn’t just listen but truly hears you. Then he takes what he hears, tosses it around in his head, and makes sense of it. When people take the time to hear us, they have a better understanding of where we’re coming from and what we need, which brings us to…

He understands what you need. Why? Because he cares enough to hear you. The best boyfriend knows that understanding himself, as well as understanding you, is important to a healthy and happy relationship, so he takes the time to grasp the particulars so he can “get” you as much as he possibly can.

He appreciates your quirks. We all have our quirks, weird hang-ups, and bizarre little things that make us unique. Although sometimes those things can be annoying to our partners, the best boyfriend is never going to see these as anything but wonderful. Even on days where he’s aggravated or tired, he’s still going to appreciate that strange little snore of yours or how you have to check your alarm clock five times, every night, before bed.

He argues like an adult. What does it mean to argue you like an adult? It means that instead of storming out of the house or throwing around low-blow insults, you work it out and try to reach a resolution. The best boyfriend does exactly that. He doesn’t run for the hills or make a scene. He stays put and is willing to confront the issue and resolve it. That’s not just best boyfriend behavior, it’s love.

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