12 Things I’ve Learned From Having Been In Multiple Threesomes

I’ve always been in touch with my sexuality, and I’m not ashamed to say so. One of the things I’m known for is my love of threesomes, and since I’m pretty experienced in that sector, I’ve learned a lot about people, relationships, and sex when it comes to a menage a trois.

There are some people who should never have a threesome, period. Some people just can’t handle it emotionally — and that’s OK as long as they don’t try to force themselves into a three-way. When they do, the fallout almost always results in a breakup, emotional outbursts, and insecurities being fed.

There are some couples who should never have a threesome, but could have threesomes if they were both single. Jealousy is an issue, but most of the time, that isn’t the only reason why these couples shouldn’t include a third partner in their sex life. It’s because the partners can’t agree on important details, such as who the third person should be, limits, and aftercare. If you can’t agree on these things, you shouldn’t have a threesome with a romantic partner.

Speaking of, ground rules are seriously important. You need to talk about what’s OK, what isn’t OK, and what happens when lines are crossed with all parties involved. Otherwise, it’ll most likely get messy.

Anyone who pressures you into a threesome is an a-hole (and definitely shouldn’t get one). When guys do this, they’re blatantly trying to push your boundaries or ignoring them outright. If they don’t care about your own comfort now, why would they care during a threesome? If your significant other won’t drop the subject after you’ve said “no,” your best bet is to leave him. You deserve better than someone who would whine, wheedle, and manipulate his way into a threeway.

If you’re insecure about your sex life or your sex appeal, do not try to have a threesome. Here’s the problem with insecurities and threesomes: this is one of the few sex acts that can magnify your insecurities. If you’re trying to have a threesome because you feel you need to prove you get laid a lot, you’re most likely going to alienate the two people you’re trying to sleep with by pressuring them too much. If you’re insecure about your relationship or your body, having a threesome will worsen it. Get confident before you attempt it.

If you’re having a threesome with your significant other, focus on your significant other. Unless you want to have problems, always focus most of your attention on your actual partner.

Most of the time, having a threesome with a close friend will cause in a breakup of a friendship or a relationship. Simply put, there’s just too much chance for people to get overly jealous in these situations. Unless your friends are into the “swinger” scene or the BDSM scene, chances are sky high that drama will ensue.

Never use a threesome to fix a relationship. I’ve never seen a relationship that actually was “fixed” by a threesome, despite having been in a bunch of threeways.

The best threesome “thirds” are people who are mature about sex and have been in threesomes before. A partner who’s experienced in threesomes knows how to handle some of the more awkward things that can arise during a romp, and they also tend to be more polite about the entire issue. If you’re dealing with a total newbie, it’s a bigger gamble as to whether you’ll have a good time.

Some people need to be reminded that threesomes aren’t supposed to be a way to get around cheating. Sadly, some people use threesomes as a vehicle to get with others that they were already chatting up behind their main partner’s back. THIS IS STILL CHEATING! If you get the feeling that there’s an ulterior motive going on, there probably is, and you should end things.

Safe sex is a must. Because no one wants to be given an invitation to Maury.

All in all, threesomes aren’t the big deal that they’re made out to be by society. It’s just having sex with two people at the same time, and they’re actually pretty common. Are they worth the hassle most of the time? Usually not, but if it’s what you’re into, there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy it.

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