13 Signs Someone Is Truly Confident, According To Psychologists

According to psychologists, confidence is not a loud declaration but a quiet assurance. It’s not about never feeling doubt; it’s about not being ruled by it. The truly confident move through the world with a sense of self-assuredness that is as much about their demeanor as it is about their interaction with others. Read on for some signs of genuine confidence.

1. They admit when they don’t know something.

A person with genuine confidence does not bluff their way through situations. They have a secure sense of self that allows them to admit when a topic is out of their knowledge realm. This honesty is not seen as a vulnerability but as an opportunity to learn and grow. They do not feel embarrassed by not knowing—instead, they ask questions and show a readiness to understand, which, in turn, often earns them more respect.

2. They listen more than they speak.

Confident people practice active listening. They’re not preparing to speak while the other person is talking; they’re fully in the moment, digesting what’s being said. This trait displays a level of self-assurance that doesn’t need to be bolstered by the sound of their own voice. Their tendency to listen more than they talk is a sign of a person who values connection and understanding over merely being heard.

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4. They celebrate other people’s success.

People who are secure in themselves are not envious of others’ successes but rather inspired by them. They understand that supporting others and sharing in their joy does not take away from their own accomplishments. This capacity to genuinely rejoice in someone else’s happiness and victories indicates a self-confidence that is not reliant on comparisons or competition but is rooted in a sense of self-worth that is generous and expansive.

5. They stick to their values.

A confident person knows their principles and sticks to them, even when pressured to do otherwise. This steadfastness is not about inflexibility; it’s about having a clear understanding of right and wrong. Their values are their north star, guiding their actions and decisions. They don’t look to others for cues on how to behave; they act according to their internal ethical code, which provides a reliable, consistent foundation for their life decisions.

6. They ask for help.

Self-assured people recognize that no one is an island. They understand that asking for help is an important aspect of human interconnectivity and growth. They approach others with humility and respect when they need assistance, fully aware that the act of asking for help is a shared opportunity for learning and collaboration. Their confidence is not diminished by acknowledging that they don’t have all the answers; instead, it’s bolstered by their proactive approach to problem-solving, which includes seeking expertise and viewpoints beyond their own.

7. They don’t brag.

True confidence is quiet—it doesn’t feel the need to proclaim its presence. People who are truly confident are comfortable letting their accomplishments speak for themselves. They don’t require the affirmation of others to feel validated. When they achieve something, they might share their success as a form of storytelling or to motivate others, but not in a way that feels like boasting. This humility, coupled with their achievements, often commands more admiration than overt bragging ever could.

8. They speak with certainty.

When confident people talk, they do so with clarity and assurance. They have a way of conveying their thoughts and ideas without hesitation. This doesn’t mean they’re always right, but they communicate in a manner that indicates they believe in what they’re saying. It’s this level of conviction that often inspires trust and respect from others. Their speech is devoid of uncertainty because they’ve taken the time to think things through and they stand behind their words with confidence.

9. They’re decisive and stick to their guns.

Confidence manifests itself in the ability to make decisions without undue hand-wringing. While confident people take the time to gather facts and consider outcomes, they don’t become paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice. They trust in their ability to make sound decisions and to deal with the consequences of those decisions, should they be less favorable. This decisiveness often sets them apart as leaders and as people who are reliable and forward-moving.

10. They accept criticism gracefully.

The ability to receive feedback without personal offense is a classic trait of the truly confident. They understand that criticism, when constructive, is a tool for improvement. These people can listen to critical feedback, filter out any negativity, and extract the valuable insights. They don’t crumble under the weight of criticism; they use it as a stepping stone to become better at what they do. This trait is not about having a thick skin; it’s about having a mature perspective on growth and self-improvement.

11. They don’t need constant reassurance.

People with genuine confidence trust in their judgment and abilities; they don’t seek out affirmation every step of the way. Their self-assurance is rooted in a history of personal successes and failures, both of which have contributed to a stable self-esteem that doesn’t waver with the ups and downs of life.

They appreciate feedback and recognition, like anyone else, but their sense of self-worth doesn’t depend on it. This independence from external validation allows them to move through life with a steadier pace and to take risks without the fear of external judgment holding them back.

12. They’re comfortable with being alone.

Confident people enjoy their own company and don’t require constant social interaction to feel content. They use solitude as an opportunity for introspection, creativity, and rest. This comfort with being alone is not about isolation; it’s about the ability to be at peace with oneself without distraction.

They don’t view times of solitude as a sign of unpopularity but rather as a meaningful space for self-care and personal growth. It’s this internal comfort that enables them to engage more wholly with others when they do socialize, bringing a sense of completeness to their interactions.

13. They adapt to change.

Change can be daunting, but those who are confident face it head-on. They are flexible in their approaches and can pivot in response to life’s unpredictable nature. Their confidence comes from a deep-seated belief in their ability to handle new challenges and from an understanding that change is often a gateway to new opportunities. This adaptability is crucial in today’s ever-changing world and is a clear sign of a person who is not just surviving, but thriving, regardless of circumstances.

14. They set healthy personal boundaries.

Confident people understand the importance of personal boundaries in maintaining self-respect and mutual respect in relationships. They are clear on what they will and will not tolerate and communicate these boundaries assertively, without aggression or passivity.

This clarity stems from a strong sense of self-worth and the knowledge that boundaries are essential for long-term well-being and healthy relationships. They don’t set boundaries to push others away, but rather to maintain a healthy and sustainable balance in their interactions. It’s this self-assuredness in knowing where to draw the line that marks their confidence and promotes harmonious connections with others.


Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.