14 Fantasies All Women Have About Men That’ll Never Happen

Have you ever imagined your ideal man, but can’t figure out why none of them quite stacks up in real life? We all have our own fantasies about men that’ll never actually happen. No, not those types of fantasies. Heads out of gutters please. I’m talking about things we’d love to change about men to make them almost perfect, but those changes never quite happen.

Don’t get me wrong. There are a few guys out there who live up to some of these fantasies. However, I’ve yet to meet a single guy or hear about one who fulfills the fantasy completely. By all means, if you find that guy, keep him and don’t ever let another woman near him.

1. He doesn’t try to fix our problems, he just listens to them. Sometimes we really just want a man to listen; we don’t need him to be our shrink or to solve the problem. It’s one of those impulses that are just hardwired into guys to always try and fix any problem they encounter. If they’d only realize listening is usually more helpful.
2. He pays as much attention to instruction manuals as he does to online sex. If you’ve ever listened to a group of guys discuss sex online, you’d know they remember every detail, even down to what color the woman’s fingernails were painted. When it comes to reading a manual to put together furniture, we’re lucky if they even read the cover.
3. He gets as excited about foreplay as us. Many guys think of foreplay as a few deep kisses. Others know foreplay is important, but they’re not exactly enthusiastic about it. Foreplay is necessary and it’d be great if guys got excited about it and spent a little more time on it.
4. He enjoys the thrill of a crowded mall. Haven’t we all fantasized about having a man who’s happy to trudge through a mall on Black Friday? They could push through the crowds and grab that coveted discount and actually be excited about it, too.
5. He consistently gives more than one word answers. You know when you’re angry and all you can say is “yes,” “no,” “fine” and “whatever”? Men tend to default to those one word answers all the time. We’d love it if when we asked how they were, they’d say more than “fine” or “good” without us having to ask.
6. He stays tuned in once in a while. You’re busy talking about your day, only to notice he’s started watching TV, staring at his phone, or just thinking about something else. If they only knew what a turn on it was for a man to pay attention all the time.
7. He happily tries things we like. We’re supposed to enjoy watching football or listening to locker room talk with his buddies, but if we ask him to try something we enjoy, he’ll bitch and moan for hours. Whether he likes it or not, we all just want him to try with a smile on his face.
8. He instantly notices the small changes. Okay, so sometimes even our closest girlfriends don’t notice we’ve switched from deep red to dark red lipstick or we’ve cut our hair an inch shorter. Still, we imagine our guys telling us how much they love those subtle changes the moment we walk into the room.
9. He keeps a few bodily gases inside. We love that men get comfortable in a relationship, but is it too much to ask to be a little less comfortable when it comes to gas? Honestly, it makes you wonder how they didn’t just explode when you first started dating.
10. He shares the remote sometimes. Remotes are precious to men — they’ll guard them with their lives. It’s one of the few things he’s not willing to share with anyone. If you notice, he’ll even guard it from his friends. If you get the remote, hold it close or he will take it.
11. He helps around the house without being asked. He claims he’s tired from working all day, but so are you. We just want to feel like we have a partner when it comes to household chores. It’s kind of sexy when a guy does the laundry or washes dishes without us nagging him first.
12. He accepts when he can’t fix something. Men are expected to be able to fix any and everything. The problem is, we know every guy isn’t a do-it-all kind of handyman. We’d prefer if they’d just save time and money by calling in a pro to start with.
13. He lasts long enough for a few orgasms. We deal with periods and pregnancy, but we also get multiple orgasms. Many men don’t quite get that. We’d love for them to not only enjoy foreplay, but last longer than a few minutes so maybe we get a chance to take advantage of multiple earth shattering moments.
14. He continues making an effort to impress us. Once a guy has us, he relaxes. A lot. Those sweet surprises or romantic gestures stop. We’re still supposed to look perfect all the time, but he doesn’t think he has to make any effort. We still want effort sometimes, but oh well.