Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is take a dating sabbatical. Yes, you want to find a great guy, but if you’re in a dating rut, you can bet that you won’t find him anytime soon. Here are 14 signs you need to take a step back from the search for love.
All your dates look the same.
If you had to put the guys you’ve been on dates with in the past six months in the same room, they’d look like brothers. Or, maybe they’re all the same bad boys. Yikes. There’s no way you can find Mr. Right if you’re always going for the same guys who hurt you. Same goes for if you’re dating guys based on their good looks—it’s sure to leave you disappointed.
You’re exhausted at the thought of dating.
You feel really drained at the thought of going on another date. In fact, you’re often tempted to cancel and stay in with your cat instead. You want to meet people, but the thought of dragging yourself out of the house to go meet them isn’t inviting.
You’re always going to the same places.
If your dates occur at the same restaurants or coffee shops, this routine can turn dating into a really boring affair. Step out of your comfort zone and make dating fun by doing new things. Going on dates that aren’t limited to the same old places gives you and the guys a chance to learn about each other in different, refreshing settings.
You don’t care who your friends set you up with.
When your friends used to suggest setting you up on dates with their friends, you’d feel awkward about it or grill them about who the guys were. Now, you actually don’t care who the guys are. You just want a date, period. Desperate, much?
You’re on five different dating apps.
Signing up to more than one dating app isn’t necessarily a good thing. It doesn’t guarantee you’ll meet loads of new, interesting guys. It could actually make you feel stressed out or exhausted to have to keep so many conversations going. Ugh. Besides, if you’re always stuck with your nose in a dating app, you’re missing out on the men you could be meeting in real life.
Your first dates are all fails.
You’re caught up in a nasty cycle of first dates that never go to second ones and it’s the worst. You leave those dates feeling like you just can’t get a break but just think: those guys are probably doing you a favor and it’s better to know someone’s wrong for you right away instead of wasting time on them.
Dating feels like going to the dentist.
You feel just as excited about the guy you met on Tinder who wants to meet in real life as you do about going for a root canal. If you’re pushing yourself to date even when your heart’s not in it, you’re just screwing yourself over and turning dating into a really stressful, exhausting experience.
It’s too much work to meet someone.
The idea of how you’ll meet someone, where you should go to meet him, and then having to start from scratch with him about who you are and what you’re like… Damn, it just feels like such a big job! Maybe it’s time to quit dating for a while. If you’re meeting guys with this attitude, your vibe’s just going to send them running for the hills.
You take dating too seriously.
When that great guy you were dating doesn’t call you back, you take it really badly. You might feel like you did something wrong or there’s something wrong with you that keeps pushing men away. Whoa there. The worst thing you can do is internalize bad dates. They’re not about you and they shouldn’t make you feel jaded. It’s just dating! It’s not life or death.
You don’t know what you want.
You’re on a date with a guy when halfway into your coffee, you look at him and think, “Do I really like this kind of guy? What do I really want?” You might not even know! If that’s the case, you need to stop dating and figure out what you’re really looking for so that you don’t date blindly.
You fall too fast.
When you meet a guy who seems like such a catch, it’s so refreshing after a string of bad dates that you find yourself catching a serious case of the feels for him. Stop! Falling for a guy when you don’t even really know him is a sign that you’re in a dating rut. It’s like you’re so desperate to get out of it that you just want to jump into a new romance. It’s not healthy.
Your confidence is extinct.
Dating always makes you feel empty and depressed. It’s like you’re a hamster on a wheel that’s going nowhere and you wonder if you’ll ever find a great guy. Maybe you should focus on having a great life instead—who cares about finding Mr. Right if it’s going to make you feel so terrible?
You’re obsessed with your dating goals.
You want to meet the right guy by a certain age so that you’ll be married by a certain age and have kids by a certain age. Hold up! Having strict dating goals and deadlines just doesn’t work and causes you unnecessary stress. Life doesn’t work according to plan and if you’re stressing yourself out with your goals, you’re turning dating into an accomplishment. It’s not. It shouldn’t be your main priority to find a man. Your life’s worth more than getting married.
You’re not making an effort.
You’ve stopped trying to look your best or be on your best behavior on first dates. Why? They all end up the same way, right? If you’re thinking in this way, you’re in a huge dating rut and you need a break. You should always be your best on dates, not for the guys you’re meeting but because you love and take care of yourself. If you’re dressed sloppily or you have a bitchy attitude, you’re just making yourself look and feel bad. It’s not worth it. Don’t let dating suck the life out of you!
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