Whether they’re just having an off day or this is how they always are, jerky people stink. And when someone’s jerkiness is pointed at you, it can be especially hard to know how to react. The good news: we have 15 clever phrases to use in those moments so you never feel caught off guard again.
1. “Let’s agree to disagree.”
A tried-and-true classic! This is a great way to put the kibosh on jerky conversations. You’re not admitting defeat, but you are cutting things off before they get to the point of no return. What a great way to acknowledge that you both have opinions without making it seem like one is better or worse than the other.
2. “Why are you yelling at me?”
Sometimes people aren’t aware when they’re being a jerk. fbruta and just straight-up asking them why they’re choosing to behave that way can make the offender take a step back and take note of how they’re treating you and (hopefully) course correct.
3. “Thanks for sharing that.”
This is a great way to acknowledge someone’s comment without agreeing or engaging further. Think of it as the nicer way to say, “Cool, moving along now.”
4. “I might’ve misunderstood, but it sounded to me like you said (insert jerky comment).”
As we said, not everyone is aware of their jerkiness and sometimes, things come out meaner than anticipated. By repeating the comment, you’re making the other person bear witness to how they sound. The hope is that it sparks a realization and, even better, an apology.
5. “Sorry, could you repeat that?”
Talking without thinking first happens to the best of us. If you’re in a conversation with someone who’s doing that, this line offers space for them to realize what they said and reassess their comment. If they do repeat it, then refer to another phrase on this list.
6. “I don’t have the energy for this today.”
Sometimes, being completely and brutally honest is the way to go. You have every right to protect yourself! Setting the boundary that you’re not available for energy-draining conversations is a firm phrase that takes you out of harm’s way.
7. “We will be best friends if you never say that again.”
This is a fun one because it says so much! Not only are you giving the other person an opportunity to grow and be better, but you’re doing it nicely. You’ve extended the olive branch of befriending this person while also setting expectations.
8. “Hey, I didn’t appreciate that. Why don’t we take a breather and talk later?”
Not only are you stating how something made you feel, but you’re giving the conversation, yourself, and the jerk room to breathe. This means that you can come back to the conversation calm and collected and hopefully the offender will, too.
9. “I need a break from this conversation.”
There are just some conversations that are too draining or too toxic to continue to be in. It’s okay to be honest about that! You’re setting a boundary and letting the other person know what you will and won’t allow.
10. “Is everything okay?”
The trick here is to say this with empathy behind it. Sometimes, people are having tough days and that causes them to lash out at others. We’re not saying it’s right, but it does happen. If you can approach the situation with sensitivity, it gives the other person an opening to apologize or blow off steam.
11. “That’s an interesting thought.”
This is a great way to acknowledge someone’s comment but also let it roll off your back. You’re not saying it’s good or bad, you’re just simply pointing out that they had a thought and that it didn’t hold enough weight to be a driving factor of the conversation.
12. “You might be right.”
This is a fantastic line if you need to diffuse an escalating situation. You’re not agreeing with them or saying your view isn’t correct, but you’re putting your adult pants on and showing the other person that you’re open to different perspectives.
13. “Let’s find a solution.”
Playing the blame game isn’t fun. Take a more proactive approach by offering to figure it out with them. Not only does this take the negative charge out of the situation, but you may come out of the conversation feeling ready to tackle the issue.
14. “I think we may be getting a little off track!”
There’s no shame in reeling in the conversation when someone is going off on a tangent. It’s a kind way of nipping the jerkiness in the bud and getting back to the point you should be focusing on.
15. “I see we have different views on this.”
There are always going to be opposing opinions and there’s nothing wrong with that! This phrase gently calls out that fact while also defusing the situation—you’re not escalating or arguing, just acknowledging that you don’t agree.
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