15 Things You Want To Tell Your BFF When She’s Dating A Guy Who Doesn’t Deserve Her

If being in a bad relationship sucks, it can almost be worse to see your best friend go through the same thing. You want to scream at her to leave this loser and you’re stuck wondering what she even sees in him. Of course, she has to make her own decisions, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have some less than flattering opinions about the situation. Here are 15 things you want to tell your BFF when she’s dating the worst guy ever:

  1. You can find someone better. One major reason for staying in a crappy relationship: not thinking there’s anyone else out there who’s going to be worth dating. You want to tell your friend that she can absolutely find someone better. She might not believe this right now and sure, it might take some time, but wouldn’t that be better than this hell?
  2. You’d be just fine on your own. Maybe your best friend is scared to be alone or has never really lived her own life without having a boyfriend. You wish you could tell her that being single is really no big deal and that she wouldn’t hate it as much as she thinks. You’d be happy to hang out with her to distract her from her single status… or go out with her to find a guy who’s actually worthy of her!
  3. You’re making yourself miserable. When she complains to you about her boyfriend or says she wishes she wasn’t so sad all the time, you want to tell her that she’s the one doing this to herself. She can’t blame this guy because she’s making the choice to stay with him and continue to feel this way. At a certain point, she has to take responsibility for herself.
  4. You literally have zero reason to stay with him. Sure, you get that she wants a boyfriend, but so do a lot of people. That doesn’t mean that anyone has to be one-half of a horrible relationship. She really has no reason to stay with this guy if he’s not right for her and if he’s just not boyfriend material.
  5. You need to keep looking. You want to tell her that despite what she thinks, her search for love is not over. She hasn’t found it with this guy, even if she thinks that he has. You know that he’s all wrong for her and that it’s only a matter of time before it all comes crashing down. She needs to get back out there and keep dating and trying.
  6. You’re still young — too young to be wasting time on this BS. When she worries that dumping this guy means that she’s not on track to have it all — an amazing career, a great relationship, a bright future — you want to tell her that she has nothing to worry about. She’s still young and there’s still so much time.
  7. You’re going to seriously regret this. You know that even if she doesn’t regret being with this guy now, she’s going to feel that way super soon. There’s no way that she wouldn’t. If she doesn’t leave, she’s going to resent him for making her so unhappy, and if she does get out, she’s going to hate that she didn’t break up with him sooner.
  8. You should know better. At a certain point in your dating life, you figure out what guys are truly bad news and which ones are worth a second date (and more). It’s tough when you realize that your best friend in the world hasn’t had that realization yet… or if she has, she’s totally ignoring her gut instincts. You want to tell her that she should know better than to stay with this jerk.
  9. You’re wasting your time. Of course she’s young and today, it’s pretty normal to take longer to settle down — but there’s still such a thing as wasting time and she’s absolutely doing that. Doesn’t she have anything better to do than hang out with someone that makes her so upset?
  10. You’re a hypocrite. The truth is that if you were dating this guy, your BFF would be first in line to tell him to take a hike. She would hate hearing your stories and would never want to convince you to stay with him. So why is it different now that she’s the one in a crappy relationship? Why is she being such a hypocrite?
  11. You’re asking for heartbreak. There’s no way that this won’t end badly. She’s going to get hurt and it’s going to suck. It’s going to suck even more since you’ve been there all along and you’ve seen what’s really going on from the beginning. If only you could tell her this straight up.
  12. You’re being naive. Okay, so this wouldn’t go over super well, but you wish you could tell your BFF that she’s being way too naive and innocent. She’s not some lovesick little girl who can’t tell when a guy doesn’t really care about her or want what’s best for her, so why is she acting that way? Doesn’t she get it?
  13. Don’t come crying to me when this falls apart. If and when things do fall apart, your best friend might ask why you never said anything or forced her to dump him (like you could do that). You wish you could tell her that when things end, she can’t blame you because you have tried your best to be there for her. Hey, it’s not your fault if she’s not listening.
  14. You’ve done this before — haven’t you learned? There’s a huge chance that your best friend has been in this crappy situation before. You wish you could ask how she could possibly think it would work out any better this time around.
  15. You deserve to be happy. Whether or not she realizes it, she totally deserves all the happiness in the world. And if she stays with this guy, she won’t get that. If you said all this, she wouldn’t listen. But you wish that you could.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.