So life’s not all roses and rainbows, but it doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you. Still, show off your cynical personality and everyone’s got something to say. You’re just being a realist. Besides, you might like tolerate people a little more if they would just stop telling you how to act and think. Cynical women are just wiser and don’t let themselves be pushed around. If you’re like me, you’d love to hear  more support and less bitching from your friends and family.
- Why don’t you smile more? I am smiling. On the inside while I think about how you’re going to ignore my advice, expect him to change his ways and then come crying to me when I’m right. Stop saying stupid stuff like this and I’ll be happy to smile.
- Can’t you be more positive? I could, but frankly, it hurts my brain. Why don’t you take care of the happy puppy dog routine for me and I’ll just continue to be more realistic.
- Quit being such a downer. I didn’t know it was a crime to be myself, but okay. I was having a perfectly good time until you had to start judging me. Now who’s the downer?
- No wonder you’re single. So just because I don’t date every loser who comes along because I’m some hopeless romantic, I must be undateable? Wasting my time and emotions on guys who aren’t up to my standards isn’t going to end well. I’m quite happy being single. Why don’t you focus on your own problems instead of making up fake ones for me?
- Aren’t you ever happy? Let me break this down for you. Cynical doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. I just see things differently than you. Sorry if I don’t giggle and laugh about every little thing. Guess I have other things on my mind like why am I even hanging out with you.
- You must have been hurt before. Yeah, life experience does have a way of bringing out the natural cynic in me. Don’t start with the pity party. I’m perfectly fine. Unlike you, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m a bit more realistic when it comes to life.
- You should trust more. Why? People lie all the time. When someone gives me a reason to trust them, I’m happy to do so. I don’t need to share my entire life with every stranger I meet. Have fun with that. I’d rather someone earn my trust first.
- It’s not really that bad. No, it’s really not. I never actually said it was that bad, but you didn’t really listen either. I guess when all your views are 10x more positive than what’s actually going to happen, my views must seem extremely pessimistic. Let me know how you feel when your happy little false reality crumbles.
- Give people a chance. Been there, done that and hell no! I wasn’t like this before I gave people a chance. I’d rather just stay cynical and be happy. Besides, if someone wants in my life, I’m happy to let them in once they’ve proven themselves.
- Everything’s going to work out fine. I have hope, I really do. Just because I’m trying to see the most likely possibility, it doesn’t mean I’ve given up or I’m falling apart. Thanks for the pep talk, but I highly doubt you have any clue how things are going to turn out.
- Do you have any hope at all? I’m not hopeless! If I keep having to hear this crap, I might just lose all hope. Believe it or not, I’m still holding out hope that you’ll figure out what cynical actually means.
- You’re such a bitch. Sorry if I just don’t give a damn. No wait, I’m not. If you don’t like what I have to say, don’t ask me. You’ll find out I’m right soon enough anyway.
- Glad I’m not like you. And I’m glad I’m not like you. Tried it once and it didn’t work out so well.
- Is this some kind of phase? I don’t even know how to answer that one. I phase from shock to anger. Does that count as a phase? Is wearing all that Spanx some kind of phase for you? Okay, so maybe I’m a little bitchy, but you started it.
- Why are you so angry all the time? I wasn’t angry until you started asking so many questions. How do you feel when someone starts questioning every thing you say? You’d get a little annoyed too.
- Try to be a little nicer. I don’t have time to sugarcoat everything. Grow a thicker skin. It’s not my job to hide the truth from you. If I didn’t tell you, someone else would. Then you’d just think I was a liar. See, cynical women really can’t win sometimes.
How many of these have you dealt with? How many have you said to your cynical friends? Let’s just all learn to get along and maybe we’ll be happier.
