7 Things Introverts Need Our Partners To Understand

We’ve been accused of being antisocial, depressed, bitchy and a million other things — but the reality is, we’re just introverts. Being an introvert in a relationship can be difficult, especially if your significant other is a bit more outgoing. It’s not impossible by any means, we just need you to understand a few important things about us:

No, we don’t hate people… most days. 

Introverts don’t hate people, but we are drained by them. When you use your phone too much without charging it, the battery dies — that’s what people do to us. There are a few people out there that don’t drain us as much. If we’re dating you, you’re probably one of those special people.

Yes, we really are this tired. 

Back to the phone thing: we charge faster if you turn us off. We’re not unhealthy or depressed, but sleeping is the best way for us to recharge. Sleeping requires no other people, noise, or light. It doesn’t matter if we just woke up two hours ago — sometimes we just need the rest. If we work with other people all week, then go out on Friday night, chances are most of Saturday will be spent in bed.

Silence is golden.

Sometimes we like to recharge with some nice music or a movie, but other times, any amount of noise is going to cause a freak-out. Please respect when we don’t want the TV on. If you want us in the same room as you, it needs to be quiet. Silence allows us to really reset our senses. Many introverts have what can only be described as “sensory overload.” Expect this after we go to a concert or club. Shhhh.

No, really, we’re fine. 

We are not mad at you, but we will be if you don’t leave us the hell alone. In fact, it’s possible we had the best day ever. That doesn’t mean we don’t need to go hide in our introvert cave. If you’re going to date an introvert, you can’t take our recharge time personally. Give us a few hours alone and we’ll be much more pleasant to be around.

Tread carefully or we will be bitchy. 

On that note, don’t poke a sleeping bear. If you force us out when we’re not ready, don’t expect us to be very nice. If you keep asking if we’re okay, we won’t be for much longer. Introverts reach a point where the bitchiness just flies out of our mouths before we can bite our tongues. Instead, walk away calmly and be quiet. Give us at least a couple hours to reset. Otherwise, we can’t be held responsible for what we say.

We need a backup plan. 

If you take us out, be prepared to help us find an early exit opportunity. Start watching for our signs, like a sudden bad attitude or zoning out. If we start to get emotional, abort operation STAT. There are times when we think we can push through because we want to have fun and be social. All of sudden, our battery will die and we want to go home and hide. We need your help to slip away.

It’s not you; it’s everyone else. 

If we didn’t like you, we wouldn’t be dating you. If you drain our energies too quickly, this relationship would not last long. We can’t always control the time we spend with other people, though — and some people are more exhausting than others. Take comfort in knowing we prefer your company to most other people, and just be understanding when we want to be left alone.

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