9 Obvious Signs You’re In A “Passing The Time” Relationship

There are relationships you get into with forever in mind, and there are those you don’t even expect to last until next season. Sure, you might be with this guy because you see real potential — but does he feel the same or is he just passing the time until a better relationship comes along? If you notice these 8 signs, it’s probably the latter.

1. He doesn’t make the effort to get in touch.

He doesn’t have to call or text you asking how life’s treating you every waking hour and you certainly don’t need to spend 24/7 together. However, if you don’t see him making an effort to spend his time with you, it may mean that his heart isn’t in it at all. You need to figure it out sooner rather than later so save yourself the heartbreak.

2. He only gets in touch when he needs something.

If you go days without hearing from him, only to suddenly get 25 texts a day out of nowhere, there’s a problem. When this happens, you know it’s because he wants or needs something from you, not because he’s missing you and just wants to say hello.

3. He goes MIA when he feels like it.

He goes off the grid without even giving you a heads-up. He then magically reappears days later with no explanations and assumes that everything is fine. If you welcome him back with open arms, don’t expect that he’ll treat you better next time. Either he’ll get tired because he sees no challenge in you or you’ll get tired of waiting for him to change his ways. The bottom line is you’re wasting each other’s time in a relationship that’s obviously not going anywhere.

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5. He still sees other people.

If he’s still friendly with his ex-girlfriends or is quick to get friendly with new people even if he knows this makes you feel uncomfortable, it means one of two things: he doesn’t care about how you feel or he’s keeping you as a backup. If you’re turning a blind eye on this to see if he’ll change, you’re wasting time.

6. He takes you for granted.

The longer you spend time as a couple, the more respect you should have for each other. Getting more comfortable with you isn’t a reason for him to take you for granted (or vice versa). If he’s been neglecting his boyfriend duties, you should sit down and have a serious talk, or you can keep on wasting your time on a guy who obviously doesn’t deserve you.

7. There’s a reluctance to commit on both sides.

If you’ve been together for a long time and aren’t even considering taking your relationship to the next level and getting engaged or even moving in together, you should both stop and evaluate where you stand. Finding the reason behind how you feel is important because if you’re not really sure about each other, you’re wasting precious time (which you could be spending with the one who’s really for you).

8. He doesn’t make you a priority.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with chasing your individual dreams, but if the relationship is suffering because of it, he’s obviously not as invested in the relationship as you are. You’re not ready for your own “happily ever after” so why waste it by staying in a “passing the time” relationship, right?

9. When you try to picture a future together, you can’t.

You try to imagine what it would be like a year or two in the future and whenever you do, he’s never there. You can’t quite put your finger on why, but inserting him into your vision of the future just never seems to feel right.

10. There’s that nagging feeling inside of you that tells you to leave.

Gut feelings aren’t accurate 100% of the time, but if the voice within keeps on whispering, open your eyes. There might be things you don’t see, which can be good enough reasons to leave the relationship and chase your own version of “forever” with someone else.

Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.