If you’ve been on your own for a while, you might be starting to feel like there’s something wrong with you. Maybe you feel like you’re undateable or unlovable, or perhaps you think that your singledom is a sign that you’re never going to find anyone. Those worries are totally normal, but please know that it’s also normal to stay single for a long time. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you and it doesn’t mean you’re going to be single for the rest of your life (though you totally can if you want to). Check out the reasons why below.
Women have access to better messages and role models.
Back in the day, being single for a long time was much more taboo than it is now. Part of the reason is women have access to much better messages and role models about equality now. Though there’s still a long way to go, many women generally understand they don’t have to get married to survive. They don’t have to get married to be worth something. These days, getting into a relationship is more about finding love than securing financial stability. So it’s okay to take your time.
Breakups take time to get over.
Another reason why it’s normal and okay to be single for a long time is breakups can be traumatic and take a while to get over. Many people stay single for months or more because they’re not over their ex. They’re not over what happened. And as long as they’re still holding onto some emotion, they don’t want to move on. Which is totally fine!
Other life goals are important too.
Some people stay single for long periods of time because they prioritize their other life goals over having a relationship. Career ambitions and bucket list items tend to require a lot of time, sacrifice, and dedication. It can be difficult to concentrate on those when you’re focused on a partner, so many choose to go without a partner until they reach certain milestones. That’s okay too!
Dating is fun (and hard).
One of the reasons why so many people stay single is because of the nature of modern dating. For starters, modern dating can be a lot of fun. Thanks to dating apps, you can meet people from all walks of life at the swipe of your thumb. A lot of people don’t want to give up that fun and freedom. The downside to modern dating is, with so much competition, it’s also more difficult to find love. Whether you’re finding it hard to find someone decent, or you don’t want to stop dating, these are two valid reasons for staying single.
Pandemics make it harder to find love.
Can we acknowledge how tricky the COVID-19 pandemic has made finding love? With restrictions, lockdowns, social distancing, and general anxiety, it’s not exactly the best environment to fall in love. If you’d like to find someone but are staying single for longer than you’d thought you would, it’s okay. The pandemic has made things hard, and it’s not your fault.
Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely.
You can be single for a long time without being lonely. A lot of single people have active social lives, lots of friends, and close families. So they don’t feel the need to get into a relationship just to have someone there. They’ve already got lots of people there! It’s okay and normal to be single for extended periods because that doesn’t equate to being lonely for extended periods.
There’s no right timeline.
There is no ideal timeline along which you have to live your life. It’s normal to be single for weeks, months, and years. Everybody’s idea of normal is different and there’s no one right answer. Try not to compare your situation to someone else’s and try to gather whether that makes you normal or not. Your timeline is right for you and that’s that.
It’s okay to enjoy your freedom.
Contrary to popular belief, a lot of people actually enjoy being single. They love the freedom that comes with it, along with the lack of stress. It’s liberating not to have to worry about a partner or maintain a relationship. Enjoying that freedom is okay, which is why there’s nothing wrong with you if you choose to be single for a long time. If you’re happy being by yourself and love your single lifestyle, all the power to you!
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