Sex is a crucial part of any passionate long-term relationship, and while what kind and how often you have it may ebb and flow naturally over the years, it’s always good when it happens… or is it? You might be so concerned with getting yours that you’re totally missing his cues and the fact that it’s just not doing it for him. If any of these things have happened, it’s time to up your game:
- He’s constantly playing teacher. If he has to tell you what to do and what not to do again and again, you’re obviously doing it wrong (or at least not in the way he likes it). It’s important to get to know what does it for your partner, but if you still haven’t mastered it after months and years together, there’s a problem.
- He doesn’t attempt anything new with you. Not because he doesn’t know anything else apart from what he’s been teaching you, but because he thinks you’ll struggle with the more complex positions and sexual acts.
- He has trouble getting off. It’s a known fact that women struggle more than men when it comes to achieving an orgasm, so if it’s taking him way too long to come (and he’s trying hard to), you’re not doing your best work.
- He makes a quick exit after the deed is done. He either falls asleep (or pretends to), gets out of bed, leaves, or makes other excuses so he can avoid having any awkward talks about what just happened. Ouch.
- When you ask him how it was for him, he’s suddenly speechless. He neither compliments you nor criticizes you for your skills or lack thereof. He can be brutally honest with you, but he knows it’ll hurt your feelings, so he’d rather shut his mouth. In some cases, he’ll throw the question back to you or change the subject so he can avoid having to share his thoughts about how bad in bed you are.
- He jokes about your sub-par performance. Remember the saying that every joke is based in truth? Yeah, that. He’ll try to take the matter lightly by joking about it with you so that in case you get upset, he can defend himself by saying it’s just a joke and he wasn’t serious.
- Or he jokes about how you need more practice. Not many women will be encouraged to do better if their boyfriends tell them that they need more practice when it comes to bedroom skills. Instead of talking to you directly about it, his passive aggressive “jokes” will tell you everything you need to know.
- He doesn’t schedule hook-up sessions with you. Not because he loves to be spontaneous, but simply because he doesn’t look forward to such a lackluster experience. Of course he still wants to have sex with you, but when he fantasizes about it, it’s a lot better than it ends up being in actuality.
- He suggests watching online sex for inspiration (and instruction). We all know how online sex is unrealistic and exaggerated, but he may have gotten tired of giving you instructions, so instead, he wants you to just watch other women do it (and nail it) so you’ll have an idea how it’s done. It’s also his way of telling you that if other women can do it, so can you!
