I’ve been cheated on multiple times by multiple partners, so the idea of an open relationship wasn’t all that appealing to me at first. However, when my current boyfriend suggested it, I actually agreed—here’s why.
I still wanted to come home to the same person. I absolutely loved the guy I was with but we both wanted to have a little fun on the side, so this is what we agreed upon. It was a simple way to have a commitment but still enjoy the benefits of the single life. Being in a situation in which my significant other could bring home his other girlfriend for dinner was tough to deal with at first because of my jealousy, by the end of the first month, it became just a normal occurrence.
I wanted to be able to make out with other guys. I liked the innocence of kissing someone for the first time. There are so many things about a first kiss that make me feel young and full of potential. I loved being able to lock lips with all of these random guys and know that I’d still be going home to the person I love most. I didn’t want to sleep with any of those guys, but I guess I could have.
I got to go on a whole bunch of dates. I’d never been taken out on 10 dates in one week until I got into an open relationship. Free food just for looking hot? Hell yes! I love food and the guys taking me out weren’t so bad either. Plus, I didn’t just go out for the free food. There were baseball games, dates to the movies, mini-golf and many more. However, my dates with my actual partner were most important and stood out most.
Our relationship got a whole lot better. We were both in good places with our jobs because we worked hard at them. This meant not always having a ton of time together. When we opened our relationship, we set dedicated days for dates and time for just the two of us, which was amazing. Before we started seeing other people, we didn’t go on dates. Every day and night was the same thing and it became a routine. It wasn’t necessarily that I was bored, but deciding to have an open relationship made us try a little harder again to keep things strong between us.
It gave us some much-needed reprieve from trying so hard. I didn’t have to try to impress my guy because he was so busy impressing all these girls. We knew we loved each other so we didn’t really have anything to prove anymore. I got away with not putting makeup on and not getting dressed until one in the afternoon. I loved being able to be myself at night and feel beautiful, and my partner still clearly thought I was from the way he was all over me.
My happiness didn’t depend on his anymore and it felt great. I didn’t have to be worried about what mood he was going to be in or whether or not he was going to start a fight or bring me down with him. I started having my own plans and doing my own thing, so whatever mood he was in, I wouldn’t know about it until bedtime. It was amazing to have my moods depend only on me for once.
We had fewer arguments. Spending less time together meant that there were a lot fewer disagreements between us. The only time we saw each other was at bedtime and on the nights we had reserved for just us. Other than that, there were just the occasional times we’d pass each other while we switched laundry or made lunch. Because we both worked full-time and were going on a lot of dates, we didn’t have to spend a lot of money on groceries either (which was something we’d fought about a lot).
It made our relationship a hell of a lot more interesting. We got to tell each other about our experiences, good and bad. We got to tell each other if we met anyone we actually liked and what we liked about them, which gave us the opportunity to change little things about ourselves so the other would be happier. We experienced lots of new activities with other people so we spent time doing those things with each other as well so that we could enjoy them on a deeper level. We even started eating different foods so it was amazing to be able to learn new things about each other. All in all, it was a great decision.
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