Why Is It Always The Most Toxic Guys That You Think You Can’t Live Without?

You fall madly in love, but soon enough your fairytale turns dark and toxic. Somehow, you end up wanting him more than you’ve ever wanted anyone. Why does he have so much power over you, and why is it always the most toxic guys that you end up thinking you can’t live without?

The more he pulls away, the more you want him.

He loves to play games and you fall for them every time. You’re the mouse in his trap and the puppet in his playhouse. He moves the relationship one step forward and you’re ecstatic, but then he takes it two steps back. He’s completely in control and while you know you should get away, you can’t bring yourself to leave.

He never shows his true colors until it’s too late.

You’ve already fallen, so what’s a girl to do? You want the guy he was at the beginning, but that was just a facade. It’s like he was putting on a show to make you his, and now that he has you, he can be his true self. The worst part is, you’ll just keeping thinking that this new guy isn’t the real him, but it is.

He subtly lowers your self-esteem.

You might have been confident before you met him, but the longer you’re with a toxic guy, the lower your self-esteem becomes. In the end, you don’t think you’re worthy of him or really anyone else. You don’t believe you deserve love – or at least any more love than he offers you – so you stay.

The less others believe in your relationship, the more you do.

Your friends and family will try to pull you away and tell you that he’s not good for you, but you’ll never listen. In fact, the more they try to tear you apart, the harder you’ll try to stay together. You want to prove them wrong. You think you know what’s best for your life, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

You always want what you can’t have.

Isn’t that so true? That’s not a recent development, either — it started in childhood. The second your mom said no snacks before dinner, you never wanted an ooey gooey chocolate chip cookie more in your life. You lust after anything you can’t have, including men. The more unattainable he is, the more you want to tame him. It’s as simple as that.

You live for the highs.

Sure, times get tough. Every relationship has its rough patch, right? That’s what you do with Mr. Toxic. You justify all the bad so that you can hold on to the good. When times are bad, they’re terrible, but when they’re good you’ve never felt better, and that’s why you stay. You put up with the pain for the brief moments of happiness and you tell yourself it’s all worth it.

You never realize he’s bad for you until you’re out.

Even after he breaks your heart, you still want him back. You blame yourself for all the problems in the relationship rather than realizing he was just a toxic douche. It’s not until you’re fully over him (and that’s going to take a hell of a long time) that you realize the true nature of this jerk. You were under a spell, but once you move on, that’s when you’ll finally find some clarity.

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