Being aromantic is not something to be ashamed of – it just means that you don’t experience romantic feelings or romantic attraction towards other people. You might have sexual attraction to someone without romantic feelings, or you might be asexual too (although the two terms are different). To help you figure out if you’re aromantic, here are 12 signs to look out for. If you relate to any of them, it might be worthwhile to do a bit more research into the topic.
You don’t desire romantic love.
This doesn’t mean you don’t experience or want any kind of love in your life. You adore your friends and family and definitely love them. You just don’t want romantic love with someone, even if you’re sleeping with them and the sex is great. So when people ask you when your friend with benefits is going to become your boyfriend, the answer is “never.”
You don’t get crushes.
While your friends might have crushes on other people, you just don’t get those feelings. Like, ever. When you meet people, you often think they’re smart, interesting, funny, etc. but you never sit around fantasizing about what it would be like to fall madly in love and become an official couple.
You want relationships for other reasons.
You don’t get into relationships for the romance or romantic feelings that are involved. There are other reasons why you might want someone to be your partner, such as that you feel platonic love for them or the person’s your best friend and you love being with them.
You don’t understand all those love songs.
While other people might become tearful at the latest love ballad or romantic movie, you just don’t feel it! You don’t understand or feel what others see as being so moving. Of course, not all aromantic people are going to dislike or roll their eyes at the latest love music or movies. You might enjoy this media but from a distance – you just don’t want to find romantic love in your own life.
You love being single.
Since you don’t have any romantic inclinations, you might not see the point of getting into romantic relationships with others – or want to. This makes you love being on your own. The bonus? You don’t feel pressure to find someone special and settle down.
You can have sex for fun.
Just because you’re not interested in romance, that doesn’t mean that you don’t necessarily want to have sex or that you don’t enjoy it. You can have sex without any strings. In addition to that, you might also have strong sexual attractions to people. You just don’t necessarily feel romantic feelings attached to them.
You feel free.
Since you don’t feel the need to want to get into a romantic relationship with anyone ever, this has freed you up to explore the kind of future you do want without any restrictions or societal pressures weighing you down.
You worry about letting people down.
Although you don’t get crushes and you don’t feel anything romantic towards people, sometimes someone will want to be in a relationship with you. This might have made you go along with things and get into relationships just because you didn’t want to disappoint the other person, which shows that being aromantic is not always without its own set of pressures.
You don’t know what lust is like.
You’ve never felt lust and you don’t understand what it’s supposed to be like, even though your friends might rave about experiencing it. You know what sexual pleasure is and have experienced it, you just don’t get those butterflies in the stomach at the very thought of being with someone.
You’d rather have a best friend than a boyfriend.
If you’re aromantic, you might feel more excited at the thought of getting a new BFF rather than a romantic partner. This crushes the myth that aromantic people are cold or aloof – they can be tender and loving, and they care deeply for the people in their lives that matter to them. They just don’t feel that love in a romantic way.
You love the idea of squishes.
A squish is basically the aromantic version of a crush. This is the need for a strong platonic relationship and emotional intimacy with someone. If that sounds really awesome to you, then you might be aromantic. These relationships can also include living together, FYI.
It’s important to realize there’s a spectrum.
There are lots of different ways in which you could express being or feel that you’re aromantic. Maybe you do sometimes feel romantic feelings for people and have crushes once in a while but you identify as aromantic. Therefore, it’s important not to define yourself according to very specific traits. Maybe you’re somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, or not. Either way, if you feel that some points on this list apply to you, then chances are you could be aromantic.
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