Am I Too Cynical About Love? 13 Signs You Need An Attitude Adjustment When It Comes To Men

If you’ve been hurt a lot in the past, it’s only normal to feel like you can’t trust anyone you date. Heck, you might not even want to date anyone, and that’s totally okay. However, if you feel you’re becoming a tad too cynical about love (or your best friend has told you that you are), this could be holding you back from finding true love. If any of these 13 things make you go, “Wow, that’s so me,” then you need to makeover your dating attitude, stat!

You’re stuck in your ways.

If you’ve been single for a long period of time, the thought of getting back into the dating world could make you want to laugh sarcastically for half an hour. You know you’re super stuck in your own ways and your schedule isn’t flexible for anyone to sneak into your life. While it’s good to have your own life, make sure you’re not shutting out potentially amazing connections.

You’re taking bets on friends’ relationships. 

When your friends get into romantic relationships, you’re the one who takes bets about how long you think they’ll last. This is pretty dark, but it also shows that you don’t believe any relationship can be happy or last forever. Is that really true? You might be a little too cynical about love (and for your own good).

You go awol when friends get into relationships.

When your bestie gets into a new relationship, you’re the one who distances yourself from her. This is because you don’t want to hear all about her new man or how lovesick she’s become. But what about saving your friendship?!

You think less of people who choose love.

When someone tells you that they chose a relationship over their career, do you judge them because you hate love? When a single-forever friend decides to get into a new relationship, do you make her feel like she’s settling, even though she doesn’t? It’s one thing to choose not to be with anyone, but you shouldn’t judge others for choosing that lifestyle. Keep your cynical point of view to yourself.

You bail out of first dates.

You don’t want to waste your time on dates, so if you see that you and the guy you’ve just met don’t have much of a connection right off the bat, you won’t sit around and wait to see what could possibly happen. You’re out of the coffee shop like the building’s on fire.

You generalize about guys.

You might think that all guys are cheaters or all guys are going to hurt you, but take a step back and think if this is actually true. For starters, you haven’t dated all men in the world, so you don’t know. You might also have to tweak your dating type so that you stop dating the same old kinds of guys.

You’re terrified of being trapped.

You might avoid dating because you’re terrified of committing to a relationship and being stifled. Maybe you’ve been in the situation of losing yourself to a relationship, and you don’t want that to happen again. But, this doesn’t mean you have to become a commitment phone. It just means you should set some healthy boundaries so you don’t find yourself in the same situation again.

You don’t enjoy dating.

Dating is supposed to be fun, but you don’t feel the first-date excitement. You only feel the nerves and anxiety associated with dating someone new, and in this way, dating can feel torturous. Are you afraid to feel butterflies before a date because you don’t want to get hurt?

You refuse to try any dating apps.

You’ve been on dating apps in the past and never had any luck. You’re so sick of finding the same kinds of guys who don’t want anything serious or who just waste your time. So, when someone’s raving about how they found love on a dating app, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Maybe it’s worth it to switch things up and try other ways of meeting people.

You freeze guys out.

When you meet a new guy and he’s nice to you, you shut him down immediately. You might give him bitter or biting remarks as though you’re trying to show him that you’re not going to accept his attempt at being nice because you see right through it. Woah. Maybe he really was nice, but you’ll never know if you don’t let things play out!

You don’t believe compliments.

When a guy tells you that you’re pretty or smart, do you roll your eyes or tell him that he’s full of s**t? Not only does this make you seem jaded, but it also tells the world that you don’t believe in or love yourself.

You’re always in damage control.

When you go on a date, you’re always prepared for the worst-case scenario. The same goes for when you start a new relationship. You expect that you’re going to get hurt, so you’re already preparing for it to happen, right? The problem with this approach is that you never give yourself a chance to see what happens – life can surprise you sometimes, but you might miss it.

You end things first.

You want to protect your heart, so you always end things first, whether you’re dating someone or you’re their official girlfriend. You do this as a way to prevent yourself from getting hurt, but it also means you could be cutting someone valuable out of your life for no good reason.

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