There’s no right or wrong way to approach love and relationships. Some people connect with others easily and form deep connections seemingly overnight. Others tend to be more reserved or require something more before their heart gets involved. If the latter sounds like you, it’s possible that you’re demiromantic. Read on to find out what this term means and some signs you might want to adopt this label.
What does it mean to be demiromantic?
Demiromantic is a term used to describe someone who experiences romantic attraction only after forming a deep emotional bond or connection with another person. This is different from traditional romantic attraction, which is usually based on physical attraction or chemistry. Going on a first date and immediately “clicking” with someone just doesn’t happen here. It takes a lot more time and effort if a relationship is going to happen for a demiromantic.
For demiromantic individuals, developing that close bond is a must-have for experiencing romantic attraction. This bond doesn’t just happen overnight. It requires a deep understanding and appreciation of each other’s personality, values, and beliefs. It also requires a real investment in one another to create a sense of trust and security.
Demiromantic people generally don’t experience romantic attraction as frequently or as easily as others. That’s because they find it hard to develop romantic relationships without first forming an emotional connection. This can sometimes be mistaken for a lack of interest or asexuality. However, it’s not the same thing at all. It’s important to recognize that demiromanticism is a totally unique (and valid) identity.
What are the characteristics of demiromanticism?
- You need to be emotionally attracted in order to be romantically attracted to someone. Demiromantic people need a strong emotional bond with someone before they can even consider being romantic with them. This is the opposite of how most people operate in the dating world, which can be challenging.
- It takes time for you to be attracted to someone. Love at first sight is not for you. It may take time for demiromantic people to develop romantic attraction to someone. This can be frustrating for both you and the people you date, as it can make it difficult to pursue romantic relationships. You’re the definition of a slow burner, and not everyone can deal with it.
- Your relationships have an emphasis on emotional intimacy. It’s much more important to you to be emotionally close to someone than it is to be going at it like rabbits 24/7. Emotional closeness is way more important, and you wouldn’t consider sleeping with someone (or even dating them on more than a casual basis) without it.
- You can’t deal with casual dating. You hate wasting your time, and casual dating without any kind of connection just isn’t for you. You’re looking for something deeper and more meaningful as a demiromantic. Small talk and no strings attached situations seem like a major waste of time.
- You don’t feel attracted to people all that often. You probably have friends who fall in love at the drop of hat. That’s definitely not you. It’s rare that you’re truly attracted to someone, and it takes a lot for it to happen.
- You don’t fit into a prescribed box. As with all experiences of romantic attraction, demiromanticism varies from person to person and may not be experienced in the same way by everyone who identifies this way.
Are demiromantic and demisexual the same?
While the terms “demiromantic” and “demisexual” are related, they’re definitely not the same thing. Demiromantic refers to a specific experience of romantic attraction. In essence, the person only experiences romantic attraction after forming a deep bond or connection with someone. Demisexual, on the other hand, refers to a specific experience of sexual attraction. In this case, the person is only sexually attracted to someone after forming a deep emotional bond or connection with them. Get it?
The key difference between these two terms is that demiromanticism is related to romantic attraction, while demisexuality is related to sexual attraction. That being said, it’s definitely possible for someone to identify as both demiromantic and demisexual, as both experiences involve a deep emotional connection as a prerequisite for attraction. It’s all down to what feels good to you.
It’s important to recognize that everyone experiences attraction differently, and there is no “right” or “wrong” way to experience romantic or sexual attraction. Both demiromanticism and demisexuality are valid and distinct identities. It’s important to respect and honor people’s individual differences and preferences.