Being unable to orgasm every now and then is totally normal. It could be down to hormones, exhaustion, or even stress. However, if you just can’t ever seem to get off no matter what you do, it could be because you’re doing these 10 things.
You keep going even when the sex is painful. There are many reasons for painful sex. The position could be wrong for you or your partner too rough. Being too dry, even when aroused, can also sabotage your orgasm by making sex painful. The solution is only allowing penetration when you know you’re good and ready. If you need a lubricant to help, there’s no shame in that.
You don’t communicate with your partner. Your partner may be a total pro in bed or a clumsy fumbler. The thing is, if you don’t tell him what you like—and more importantly, what you don’t like—you’re never going to get off. If he does something that turns you off, tell him so, albeit gently. And if you really reach the skies with a trick he does, ask him to repeat it.
You’ve gotten in the habit of faking it. We’ve all faked an orgasm because it was taking too long to reach one or because all we wanted to do was sleep. The problem is that when this becomes habit, you suddenly realize you’re never having an orgasm at all. The longer you perpetuate this BS lie, the more the person you’re sleeping with all assume that they’re doing all the right things and they won’t bother to change it up. Don’t do that to yourself.
You or your partner talk too much. If talking dirty turns you on, that’s fine, but if his penchant for uttering unprintable words is turning you off, tell him so. Likewise, if tells you to shush and just enjoy the moment, try it because it might do the trick for you. Keep distractions to a minimum as well, whether it’s the hum of the washing machine or the click-click of a rickety bed. The whole “romantic playlist” probably won’t get you there either, and it might even be distracting, so it might be better to leave it.
The bedroom is a pigsty. Having a messy bedroom with strange sights, smells, or sounds isn’t quite the way to an orgasm. There’s nothing attractive about trying to be intimate in a room that stinks and is full of dirty dishes or laundry. The presentation of a dish is as important as its taste, so to speak. Need I say more?
You’re too worried about how you look. So you have saggy boobs or a C-section belly? Being worried about your appearance is the perfect way to sabotage your orgasm. We all want to look our best, but remember, sex is messy and naked bodies do not always look the way they do onscreen. It’s OK to be sweaty, messy, and less than perfect. In fact, in a lot of cases, it’s downright sexy. Enjoy the moment instead of worrying about what you can’t change. If he’s into having sex with you, he’s into your body the way it is.
You overthink everything. You’re so busy thinking about getting off that you never actually manage to get there. Big mistake. It’s important to slow down, stop worrying, and live in the moment. Being fully present in what you and your partner are doing rather than projecting into the future will make the whole experience much more rewarding.
You have quickies more often than not. Quickies sound delightful. But frankly, they’re more delightful for the dudes and not really all that great for us. Orgasms for women take time. Quickies means you might just end up skipping your climax. Again, sex toys can come in handy for situations just like these. A penile ring can add a little zing to your desperate clitoris.
You’re doing it after you’ve had too much food or alcohol. A full meal or too much booze to loosen some inhibitions can also sabotage your orgasm. Medically speaking, an orgasm involves blood flow. If your stomach is too full, your blood will divert to it rather than your nether regions. Too high of a blood alcohol level will make orgasming nearly impossible, so sober up a bit before you get down.
You’re not in touch with your body. Finally, when did you self-love last? Masturbation is not only healthy, it’s actually a great tool for a rocking sex life. The more you orgasm, the easier it is for you to reach the peak the next time around. So whenever you’re in a relationship (or hookup!) drought, masturbate. It will help you in knowing your body all the more and keep it in the pink of health, orgasmically speaking!
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