Clear Plastic Shorts For Men Are The Latest Fashion Craze & It’s A Nope From Me

Just when you thought fashion couldn’t get any more ridiculous, you realize that clear plastic shorts for men are all the rage and suddenly you begin questioning your life and your place in the universe. What is going on here?

  1. Clear plastic clothing isn’t necessarily new. It’s been around in varying degrees since the early ’90s. Remember when EVERYTHING was clear? Telephones? Pepsi? Windbreaker pants? However, putting dudes in clear short shorts IS new, and it’s all wrong.
  2. They have to wear clothes under it, so what’s the point? If dudes want to parade around in bikini bottoms, they don’t really need clear shorts to go over them. And unless they’re at a nudist colony and/or plan on getting arrested for indecent exposure, you can’t exactly wear them alone.
  3. Why are they so expensive? Maverick Swimwear is selling these shorts for $26.99, which seems a bit extortionate when you realize how little fabric is involved. Seriously, how much could these possibly cost to make? $5? That’s a pretty huge markup if you ask me. That being said, you can get some for $12.99 on Amazon, so there are bargains to be had, if this is what you want.
  4. I’m not sure who the ideal clientele is here. Who exactly are clear booty shorts being marketed to? Are these simply for the beach? Are guys meant to be wearing these at the gym or to just walk around town? I’m really confused.
  5. I guess I’ve seen worse. While I would never condone clear shorts for anyone, male or female, but I suppose to each their own. I’m not here to judge anyone and if that’s what makes you happy, who am I to interfere? Live your life the way you see fit, clear plastic shorts and all. Hopefully they’ll still be in fashion next summer.
Piper is a NYC-based writer who loves dogs, iced coffee, and calling people out on their BS.