I’m Conventionally “Hot” & I Don’t Get The Fuss—It’s Overrated

Being hot is nice sometimes—you get a lot of attention and you can definitely use it to your advantage. That being said, there’s more to life than appearance and frankly, being conventionally attractive isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

You don’t get approached by men as often as you would think. I asked a few of my guy friends why, if they think I’m the hottest one in my friend group, my friends get approached by men more than I do. They all had the same answer: being hot is intimidating. Basically, dudes are a bit more afraid to approach a woman who’s really attractive for fear of rejection. In other words, being conventionally “hot” doesn’t always do you any favors when it comes to meeting men. In fact, it can be a hindrance sometimes.

It costs a lot of freaking money. Like, a lot of freaking money. I have to pay for teeth whitening treatments, skincare, hair cuts and colors, a gym membership, healthy food, and regular waxes, not to mention clothing, shoes, and accessories. That all adds up pretty quickly. I know I don’t have to do all of those things, but if I want to keep up a certain image, I kinda do.

It takes a lot of time and effort. I don’t want to go to the gym six times a week, cook healthy meals every night, or spend the evening applying my various skincare products and plucking my eyebrows. My hair dye appointments sometimes take three to four hours, and I deprive myself of chocolate a lot. Again, I know I don’t have to do all of those things, but if I want to enjoy the perks of being conventionally attractive—and sadly, I really do—I have to put in the work.

You can’t always have the things you want. Speaking of things I can’t have, there’s a lot more that’s off-limits than chocolate. Pasta, bread, fast-food drive-thrus, soda, and even beer are no-gos. I don’t really go out for pizza with my friends, ice cream is off-limits unless it’s sugar-free, and if I go out to the bars, I usually stick to water. Counting calories can get old fast, and I miss all the treats I used to be able to have when I was younger. But as I’ve aged, I’ve had to cut them out completely in order to have the body I want.

People don’t always take you seriously. When you’re attractive and you’re a woman, it’s sometimes (unfortunately) hard to be taken seriously by men. While it’s sad, there have been many times where I’ve felt like men haven’t listened to what I’ve had to say or taken my opinion seriously because they’re too focused on the way I look. They either want to impress me in some way instead, or they just assume I’m not smart enough to have an opinion on anything other than lipstick shades.

People stare. Maybe that sounds like it would be fun, but it’s really not, especially when you’re dating someone. You need to be with a really secure guy because some men can get uncomfortable if there are a lot of other men staring at their girlfriend. Any relationship you get into will have to be with someone who doesn’t get jealous easily.

You always wonder what it is a guy likes about you. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of having a few men “fall in love” with me very quickly, and it’s always been very uncomfortable. I used to find it flattering, but over the years I’ve realized that these men don’t know me at all. They’ve only fallen in love with the idea of me.

Your relationship can end up being disappointing. What happens next is that men often end up disappointed. Since they didn’t take the time to really get to know me and know if I was a good fit for them and just blindly pursued me instead, they later would realize we aren’t really a good match. That would end in disappointment on both our parts. I’ve learned to screen these men out sooner rather than later over the years. A good way to tell is if they don’t ask a lot of questions about me. That tells me they like my boobs better than my personality. I mean, hey, they are great boobs. But I’m also a person—someone who likes to read and write and complain about how often I have to go to the gym!

Flattery falls kind of flat for you. People compliment you so often that when you hear it, you probably come off rude because you usually just think, “yeah, yeah.” You’ve heard it so many times that it just doesn’t make an impression anymore. Sad but true.

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