Back in the day, you probably thought that you’d have your life together by the time you hit 30. Guess what? You don’t. There’s a good chance you’re not settled in your career or that you’re still looking for someone worthy of spending your life with. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time in life and love, but you’re definitely too old to be partaking in these dating behaviors anymore.
You need to stop ghosting people.
Unless you went on a few dates with someone and they literally scared you or harassed you, ghosting is a weak maneuver that should be avoided. Telling someone you’re not into them is hard, but an honest text will save your ex a lot of time. The sooner you speak up and end things, the sooner they can get over you and move on. (And if you are scared that they may retaliate against this bad news, that’s a matter for the police.)
You need to be punctual for your date.
Time is valuable. Be a responsible adult and show up on time. If you’re going to be late, make sure you update your date before you check Facebook, post on your Instagram story, and text a friend about how nervous you are. The date is the priority, and they should know when you know.
If you’re going out to dinner, table manners are a must.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but you should be on your best behavior when you’re out. That means no eating with your hands, chewing with your mouth open, or grabbing things from across the table. Also, watch your mouth. It’s okay if you curse like a sailor, but try to keep it to a minimum in a public place, especially if this is the first time you’re meeting someone.
When you’re dating around, you should be honest with your partner.
No matter how old you get, defining the relationship will always be a tricky step. But if you’re openly dating more than one person, you need to state that from the beginning. Say that you’re seeing a couple of people and be honest about whether or not you’re eventually looking for commitment. That way, feelings get hurt less if they see you out with someone else.
You need to be more open about sex.
You’re 30 now. You should be fully aware of legitimate birth control methods and how they work. You shouldn’t be afraid to bring up the pill or ask about condoms or STDs. If you expect to have a healthy sex life, you should be able to talk about sex with your partner.
You shouldn’t get sloppy drunk.
Getting wasted at the club is one thing when you’re 21 and in college. If you’re still downing drink after drink on a first date, you may have issues that stem beyond nerves. It’s perfectly fine and healthy to drink in your 30s, but you need to be responsible for yourself and realize that your date isn’t looking to babysit a drunk stranger all night. If you need a crazy night out, wait until both of you are established as a couple, stay hydrated, and make reliable transportation arrangements way ahead of time.
Don’t fish for compliments.
If your date didn’t think you were nice and pretty, they probably wouldn’t have asked you out. Compliments don’t come easy for some personality types. By trying to fish, you’re coming off as a little insecure. You need to take a deep breath and just have a fun time.
Don’t talk about an ex.
By the age of 30, everyone’s likely been in at least one solid relationship before. In college, you may have tried to chat about your ex to get a good idea as to whether or not your date likes you. These days, it comes off more like you’re not over them. Don’t use dates as an opportunity to talk about your past and feel better about romantic decisions you’ve made. If you’re still hung up on someone, you might need to be single for a bit to officially get over them.
Don’t openly judge someone just by appearance.
One of the best parts about growing up is that you become kinder. You realize what’s important in life and you understand that looks fade. It’s great to be physically attracted to your partner, but if you love their personality, that attraction will only grow. Putting someone down on a date because they have a receding hairline, or don’t have defined arm muscles, just makes you look mean and superficial. With that sort of attitude, you may be flying solo for a long time.
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