Dating Sucks So I’m Giving It Up

Even though I’ve been single for years now, I’ve done my fair share of dating during this time. Nobody has stuck around long enough to slap a label on it, so then it’s on to the next person in a repetitive, tiring cycle. Honestly, right now I feel like dating just flat out sucks, so I’m giving it up.

I want a clear head going into my next relationship. My head is so cluttered with relationships gone awry that I think it’s time to take a break from dating and give myself some time to clear my head. I want to make sure that I’m not bringing unsolicited baggage from my past into my future relationships, so I think that giving up on dating until I can refocus my thoughts and intentions is the best option for me right now.

I’m over the BS. I think it goes without explanation, but I’m referring to the stress of figuring out where a relationship stands and the mind games that are played in dating. It’s all very exhausting and it just plain sucks. I’m over the BS of dating the wrong people, so I’m giving it up completely for now. They say you find love when you’re not looking, right? I think I’ll put this theory to the test.

My heart needs a break. My heart’s been broken so often lately that it literally only takes a few days for me to move on with my life once it’s been broken. Some might call that strength, and maybe in some ways it is, but I don’t want to become numb to the pain of heartache just because I’ve experienced so much of it. My heart is tired of being broken. It needs less heartbreak and more space to heal.

I’ve turned bitter, and that’s not me. I’m a hopeless romantic, yet lately I’ve found myself saying the very things that I caution my girlfriends not to say, such as, “I’m better off alone” or “forever single” and that’s not the kind of person I want to be. Dating has caused me to become bitter, so it’s time for me to give it up for a while.

I need to be happy with myself again. Sometimes I get so caught up in the guy I’m dating that I forget to take care of my own happiness. Of course, it’s easy to find happiness in bringing light to someone else’s life and putting a smile on their face, but many times I get taken for granted and that is a thief of personal joy. I know if I want to be truly happy, I need to find that happiness within myself first. Everything else is just a bonus.

I feel like I’m always the option, not the choice. Maybe it’s because I’m not dating the right men, but somehow I’m always the option. Seriously. It’s like I’m stuck in the phrase “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” and TBH, it’s emotionally draining. I don’t want to be some guy’s backup while I’m making him my choice, and it seems like that’s been the norm lately. I’m over it.

I’m not having fun anymore. When dating becomes so stressful that all I’m feeling is pressure and unmet expectations, then what’s the point? Dating was designed to help us find someone to enjoy life with, not stress out about our relationship status. If that’s how it’s going to be, I’d rather be single and tackle life alone for the time being.

This generation has forgotten how to properly date. In my opinion, part of the problem is that this generation has completely gotten lazy AF in regards to dating. With options like on-demand movies and delivery, getting dressed up to enjoy a night out together has taken a back seat to sweatpants and chill. This kind of “date” isn’t a problem if you’re also incorporating actual dates outside of the home, but most couples are just settling for comfort without adventure or romance. This goes beyond dates and stretches into communication as well. Instead of talking about expectations and desires, it’s just automatically assumed that you can read each other’s minds and when you can’t then it’s frustrating. Can we get a mandatory class on how to properly date, please?

I don’t want to be a rebound, nor do I want a guy to be mine. Sometimes it’s only a matter of days between the end of a prospective relationship and the beginning of something new. As exciting as that may be, sometimes the merriment of a new relationship can wear off just as quickly as it began, leaving both parties depleted. I want to take it slow and spend some time alone in between relationships, even if it’s just a few weeks.

I want something natural and unforced. I’ve made it clear that dating sucks and I’m giving it up, but my biggest hope in doing so is that love will naturally find me. I’m done with throwing effort at men who don’t  care enough to want to give it back, and I’m sick of being set up for disappointment. I want my next relationship to happen organically and unforced, and I’ll hit the pause button on dating until then.

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