When it comes to orgasms, men have it in the bag. It’s far easier for a man to come than it is for a woman, and not just because women’s bodies are a bit more complicated, but because women’s sexuality is complex, too. Women don’t have a button that can just be turned on and off when it comes to orgasms. And although many women can make themselves come like it’s NBD, putting the task in the hands of a man is a totally different story. Sorry, guys, but we need a bit more finessing than you do if you want to give us an orgasm.
But because being able to make a woman come is (or at least should be) something all men would love to be able to master, let me help you out a bit with some tips. Here’s your step-by-step guide to make a woman come.
Slow it down, cowboy.
Patience is a virtue, guys, and that’s why foreplay exists. While I’m not suggesting that a woman can’t have an orgasm if there isn’t any foreplay, but taking your time instead of plunging in makes a huge difference. You want a woman to be aroused (wet as hell) if you really want to blow her mind.
Tell her she’s hot.
Women love compliments, especially when we’re naked and at our most vulnerable. It’s not easy being a woman in a society so obsessed with the “ideal” body, so tell the woman you’re with just how hot she is, how much she’s turning you on, and how her body is a wonderland. (Sorry, I couldn’t help but make that John Mayer reference there, because he’s ridiculous, but you know what I mean.)
Realize there’s more to us than just our vagina.
Women, like men, are made up of so many parts! Shocking, I know! While honing in on our vagina might seem like the direct pathway to giving a woman an orgasm, you really need to pay attention to other parts of our body, too. For example, our nipples, neck, and inside of our thighs are really sensitive erogenous zones, too. Don’t ignore them!
But still give the clitoris a decent amount of love.
With the majority of women only being able to orgasm through clitoral stimulation, it’s important to give it some mad love. Whether you opt for using your tongue, fingers, or a vibrator, put forth a good effort when it comes to stimulating the clitoris. Important fact: the external part of the clitoris (the entire thing actual extends upward into the body and wraps around the vagina like a cozy blanket) has 8,000 nerve endings in it ― TWICE as many as a penis.
Don’t assume all women are the same.
I know this may come as breaking news to some of you, but all women are different and because of this, every woman has different requirements for what gets her off. Some women need vigorous clitoral stimulation, while some women need just a dab. For other women, their sweet spot is their G-spot (on the inside wall of the vagina, as if opposite the belly button), while others have their mind blown with butt play. If you go into sex thinking we’re all the same in what we enjoy, then you will get nowhere. Which leads us to…
Want to give a woman an orgasm? Then listen to what she tells you. If a woman gives you direction, welcome it with open arms and don’t take it personally. Even if you think you know everything there is to know about the female anatomy, that doesn’t mean you have every woman and her specific needs figured out. Great sex, that’s fulfilling for both of you, is about listening to each other and not getting all pissy when your partner is just trying to help. If your end goal is to have a woman walk away, still trembling from an orgasm that shook her to the core, then listening, above all else, is exactly what you need to do.
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