Guys Hated Going Down On Me So I Thought Something Was Wrong With Me

I wasted a huge part of my adult life being under the assumption that my vagina was just undesirable to men. Actually, not just my own—I truly thought all guys hated going down on women.

The first time was a traumatic experience. I’ll never forget the first time a guy went down on me. I was 16 years old and my boyfriend and I were in the woods by my parents’ house. (We were young, we had to get creative on hookup spots.) It was on our six month anniversary and while I’d gone down on him multiple times already, this was the first time for us. He pulled my pants down, got on his knees, and let out this awful sound of disgust. WTF? Something inside of me just shattered at that moment and I was heartbroken. I didn’t want him to continue and I don’t think he did.

Other guys seemed to be against it too. After dating my high school boyfriend, I “dated” (read: slept with) a handful of other guys. None of them seemed eager to go down on me. I was always just cutting straight to the main event for them, though I’m pretty sure every one of them got a really good blow job from me.

I developed a complex. I rarely even wanted to try oral sex again because frankly, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to have to deal with another moment of a guy not wanting to go down on me and I didn’t know how to “fix” my vagina to change their minds, so I just hoped things would never go there (and they rarely did).

My next boyfriend “didn’t like it.” Surprise, surprise, my next boyfriend didn’t like going down on girls. I was “fine” with it because I already had such a complex about it, but by that point, I’d started to become a bit of a stronger person so I still asked him to do it. After dating for five years, I can count on both hands the number of times he actually did. Meanwhile, I lost count of how often I gave him oral sex.

He sucked at it anyway. Maybe it was because he didn’t like it, but he had no idea what he was doing down there anyway. While he didn’t right out say that I smelled, he “suggested” I use some type of feminine cleansing product, which I promptly purchased hoping it might mean I could get a bit more oral pleasure. Nope.

I sadly accepted the fact that I just wasn’t meant for oral sex. I was decided on the fact that I was just not one of those girls that would be pleasured orally. I didn’t have desirable goodies to want a guy to go down on me. Plus, I was under the impression it was just something men didn’t like to do anyway, so I might as well get over it.

I was so wrong. When I first started dating my now-fiancé, he initiated oral pleasure before I’d ever gone anywhere near his junk. With my history, I was nervous but played along. Let me tell you, that was a moment I’ll never forget. This oral was nothing like I had ever known in my life. I panted so much that my mouth was drier than the Sahara desert. Finally, I found a man who loved going down and was damn good at it!

I’m so glad I found a real man who knows what it means to pleasure a woman. As much as it sucked going through life thinking my vagina was toxic, I wouldn’t trade it. I get amazing oral on a weekly basis and that’s the life, ladies. All the guys I’d slept with before were total chumps who wouldn’t have known good sex if it smacked them in the face (as I should have).

What man doesn’t like going down? Aren’t our bodies designed to be attracted to one another? If you’re a heterosexual man and you aren’t turned on by the female pheromones, there’s something wrong with you, dude. Ladies, don’t settle for a man that won’t pleasure you orally. You deserve better than that. Once you experience good oral, there’s no putting up with an immature man-child who won’t perform.

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