Every woman deserves the sweet pleasure of a mind-blowing orgasm. It shouldn’t be that difficult to get us there – if you listen and actually pay attention to us, that is. While our bodies might seem a bit more complex when it comes to figuring out how to get us off, there are a few simple things you can do to increase your chances of making it happen:
Listen to us.
Just because that little nibble and flick thing you’re doing worked for somebody else, that doesn’t mean you’ll have us hanging from the rafters. If we’ve told you we’re not feeling one of your “moves” then please don’t do it again – it’s as simple as that. You’re wasting your time. Instead, make a mental note of what makes our heads spin when we tell you and do more of that.
Take the time to learn what we like.
No two women are the same when it comes to sexual pleasure. Some of us like a ton of foreplay; others of us have a special spot you can touch which will make us shudder, like the nape of our neck or the inside of the thigh. Some of us like wacky roleplay. As long as you’re comfortable doing that thing that tips us over the edge then you’ll know how to really make us come.
Don’t be a loser.
Yeah, we want all of that heat and passion, but we also want to feel comfortable and safe. If we need you to take a shower, then do it. If we need to talk to you before or after, then suck it up and be a grown up about it. There’s no way a woman can orgasm if we don’t feel at ease, so if you’re lucky enough to sleep with us, you can go the extra mile to make sure we feel good about it.
Respond to our bodies.
Not everybody is a chatty Cathy in the bedroom, so you might just have to figure out what our bodies are telling you. You don’t have to be some master code breaker like Alan Turing to work it out. If our hips are slamming into your face or body, then you should take it as a sign that you’re doing something right. It’s not that difficult. You can also ask us if we like what you’re doing (though you should be able to tell, really).
Talk dirty to us.
You probably realize by now, we appreciate being turned on mentally as well as physically — the combo of both is basically our sexual undoing. The best way to get our brains and bodies going into meltdown is to tease us with your words. That is, unless you’re really bad at it – in which case don’t bother because it might have the opposite effect and just make us dry up.
Take your time.
It’s not like when you skip to the end of a book to find out what happens. You can’t just reach the climax without all of the important steps that come before it. Our orgasms need to be built up gradually until we reach the finish. And don’t forget that the floodgates need to be well and truly open before you even think of sticking something in there.
Get into position.
Don’t be selfish. You know there are certain positions that work way better for us. It’s all about symbiosis. We need an arrangement that gives our clitoris and G-spot a maximum hit. Oh, and don’t just stop when you’ve gotten yours because that’s selfish AF and you won’t be getting a repeat performance.
Mix it up.
You remember that episode of Friends where Monica assigns numbers to a variety of sexual maneuvers? Those who aren’t up on their game should watch that again because this is one case in which you can actually learn something valuable from TV. To make the sex unforgettable, you need to mix up the numbers and surprise us. Don’t get stuck squeezing one nipple or thrusting repeatedly with nothing else there. It’s the variety that will really catch us off guard and get us going, so switch it up a bit.
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