Sexuality is way more complicated than just straight, gay, and bisexual. For instance, have you heard of gynesexuality? Here’s what it is and what you should know about it—you never know, maybe it applies to you.
What’s gynesexuality anyway? It’s basically defined as having a sexual attraction to the female anatomy—breasts and vaginas in particular—as well as femininity in general. So, based on this definition alone, we could say that lesbians and straight men are gynesexual, right? Yes, but there’s more to the term than that.
The object of a gynesexual’s attraction doesn’t need to be female. If you’re attracted to the above qualities in a partner, it’s worth bearing in mind that your partner doesn’t actually have to be born female in order for you to be gynesexual towards them. Someone who defines themselves as gynesexual could be attracted to transgender people who were born male and became female later in life. Or, they could be attracted to men who were born male and are still biologically male but have feminine qualities that aren’t physical in the least! Basically, there are many different ways in which gynesexuality can happen.
As a woman, you don’t have to be lesbian to be gynesexual. You can be gynesexual without being attracted to women or desiring to have relationships with women. For instance, you might find breasts insanely attractive but not want to be sexual with a woman who has them, and that’s fine. Maybe your attraction is sexual and that’s fine too. Another example is that you might enjoy female porn because of your attraction to female bodies without being lesbian or even bi-curious.
It’s about femininity. As you can see, you can be attracted to ideas of femininity in many different ways, both physical and emotional. In this way, gynesexuality can occur in how you’re attracted to other women. For instance, you might be attracted to women who ooze feminine qualities in their everyday lives.
It could be about the type of men you find attractive. Of course, there’s no rulebook for how you should approach gynesexuality—it’s all about what feels comfortable and right for you. Still, examples of guys you might find attractive as a straight gynesexual include men who are softer, gentler, clean shaven and not overly masculine. You might, for instance, sidestep the guy with massive biceps and lots of testosterone for the beta male who’s more sensitive.
It’s important not to buy into gender stereotypes. Things can get tricky when we start trying to define what it means to be “masculine” versus “feminine.” There are many different ways these qualities can play out and it’s important not to restrict them too much. If you’re gynesexual, you’re attracted to what’s feminine in a partner. That could mean different things to different people. To you, it could mean being attracted to someone with a graceful body or who expresses themselves with emotions. To another person, it could be about someone who’s quiet and gentle.
The gynesexual label is way more inclusive. The cool thing about the term gynesexual is that it enables you to feel you fit in somewhere that’s less limiting than, say, defining yourself as bisexual or heterosexual. You have fewer limitations when it comes to your sexuality and also the sexuality of the person you’re attracted to. This explains why gynesexual terms can be so valuable to people who identify themselves as genderqueer. It’s a label that enables greater individuality to come to the surface.
It proves how complex attraction can be. Defining yourself as gynesexual can be really empowering for people as it gives them the feeling of being part of a community when other labels never really fit. We’re all part of a spectrum that’s not always clearly defined. You might live like a straight woman, choosing male partners but you might also find that femininity is a turn-on for you. Whether you act on it or not, that doesn’t matter. It’s just about being open to different thoughts and ideas about attraction with fewer judgments and categories around to box you in.