Finding out that he’s not into you can leave a girl feeling absolutely gutted. While you’re allowed to be upset that the guy (or girl) you like doesn’t like you back, you don’t have to stress about it. Here’s why it’s actually okay that he’s not into you.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
No, really. While it may seem like a clear sign that you’re not good enough when he’s not into you, it actually isn’t a reflection on you. There are endless reasons why a person might not romantically like you. Maybe there are things about you that are not his type. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It’s okay to be gutted with disappointment because you liked this person, and we all want the people we like us back. But please don’t sit around thinking that you’re unlovable because one person doesn’t like you.
It’s not you, it’s him.
The Huffington Post emphasizes that you deserve someone who is completely into you. So the fact that he’s not into you is a deal-breaker. He’s the one with the problem, not you. While he’s totally entitled not to like you, you don’t have to dwell on it either. Whatever the reason he doesn’t like you, that’s his issue.
Lots of people out there will be into you.
You shouldn’t stress about him not liking you because there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Like, millions of fish. There will always be someone who does like you for you. And that person is who you should spend your time pursuing. This is also why you shouldn’t change yourself to impress someone. While your true personality might not be appealing to the person you like right now, it will attract someone else. And that’s the person you should really be with—the one who loves you as you are.
You can’t be with the right person if you’re chasing the wrong one.
If your goal is to find a long-term relationship, then you can’t afford to waste time stressing about the guy who’s not into you. Why? Because that stress will take up the space which you should leave for the right person to come into your life. You can’t be with the right person if you’re chasing the wrong one. So once you’ve allowed yourself to process your emotions, let the wrong guy go. Better things are coming.
It’s better to know he’s not into you.
As hurtful as it is to find out he’s not into you, it’s better to know the truth. At the very least, you won’t waste time being led on. No one deserves to be in a relationship where the other person is only settling. Knowing his feelings upfront will save you from that kind of situation. It’s better to know the truth so you can deal with it and move on.
You shouldn’t have to be someone you’re not.
If a guy only wants you if you’re a certain way, then he’s not right for you. For example, if he only wants you because you’ve landed a great job, or you’ve lost a certain amount of weight, he’s not with you because he loves the essence of who you are. This can lead to you feeling like you have to be someone else to impress him. If the relationship was going to consist of him expecting you to be someone you’re not, then you’ve dodged a bullet.
Everyone experiences rejection at some point.
Try not to beat yourself up if the guy you like doesn’t like you back because, as much as it sucks, this kind of rejection is a part of life. Everyone experiences rejection at some point, whether it’s in their personal or professional lives. When you react to rejection in the right way, it can make you stronger and give you a thicker skin. So don’t feel like the world is ending because you got rejected, even if it’s happened more than once. That’s just life.
He’s probably not rejecting you to be mean.
If it makes you feel better, the person who doesn’t like you back probably isn’t rejecting you to be mean. Have you ever had to turn someone down who was really into you, and felt terrible about it? That’s probably how he feels. Try not to feel like he’s enjoying your pain and wants to cause you as much distress as possible. This is just something that happens. Unfortunately, no one is obligated to like anyone else. That might be hard to hear when you’re the one getting rejected, but you’ll be thankful for it when you’re propositioned by someone you don’t have feelings for!
You can’t change him.
There’s really no point in stressing about the guy who doesn’t have feelings for you because you won’t be able to change him. Generally, there’s not a lot of logic or reason behind why people like who they like. So it’s not a situation where you can quickly change something about yourself to change his mind. And if you can change one thing about yourself to change his mind, you fall back into the trap of having to be someone you’re not. No one deserves to be in a relationship that way.
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