Do you feel like a toxic-guy magnet stuck in a destructive loop of abusive relationships? I was in a relationship with a toxic guy and felt like I’d never get away. However, there came a time when I knew I had to change. I had to not only get him out of my life but also stop attracting toxic guys like him in the future. Here’s how I made it happen.
I realized my worth.
Toxic guys like to be around people who will let them get away with their bad behavior but they quickly lose interest in those who call them out. When I realized my worth, I learned that I deserved much more than the crap I was putting up with on a daily basis. I reminded myself that I was worthy of love, and with a boost in self-esteem, I have managed to repel toxic losers. I don’t need their drama and you don’t either.
I stopped making excuses for toxic guys.
We’ve all heard someone say “He’s not that bad! You just need to get to know him!” to excuse a toxic guy’s behavior. That’s not true at all. You already know him and these are his true colors. Good people don’t need time to prove their goodness, so the next time you hear someone say that, nod and smile politely and realize that they’re talking utter BS.
I set strong boundaries and enforced them.
I’ve realized that the moment you stop enforcing your boundaries, a toxic guy will treat you like a doormat and walk all over you. To change your dating game forever and to repel toxic guys, learn to set strong boundaries and enforce them no matter what. Boundaries will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship so your niceness isn’t being taken advantage of. If a guy crosses a boundary you’ve set with him, be quick to put your foot down.
I stopped being nice.
I was raised to be a nice person and I’m not going to change that because a few losers like to take advantage of my decency. However, I learned to be nice only when the person I was seeing was nice. It was a tit-for-tat for me because I learned that only I was responsible for my comfort, safety, and happiness. Learn where the line lies between being nice and being a pushover – you don’t owe anything to these guys.
I developed high standards and haven’t lowered them.
This was a tough challenge to conquer. I often managed to reel in toxic guys because they were that good at pretending they met my standards of an acceptable person to date. What happened then? They weren’t meeting anything – I was settling for them. This is when I promised myself to never lower the standards I had happily set for myself. You can be Prince Charming for all I care, but if you can’t meet my standards, we’re not dating.
I separated myself from the drama.
If you’ve ever dated a toxic guy, you know they’re full of BS and drama. They love it when others step in to help solve their problems. It was a neverending cycle of crap that left me mentally and physically drained out. I learned that I was never going to “fix” anyone’s issues, and if a man I’m dating comes with emotional baggage, I’ll let him sort them out. It’s actually really empowering.
I surrounded myself with good, positive, and supportive people.
It can be hard to recognize toxicity in others if you don’t have examples of what healthy, positive relationships should be like. I automatically began repelling toxic guys after I started surrounding myself with positive and supportive people. The ‘Karens’ were replaced with supportive friends who were quick to spot toxicity in a guy, sometimes way before I did.
I stopped being afraid and called out toxic guys out.
Want to repel toxic guys forever? I know that’s the point of this article, but I can’t stress enough how important this step is when you truly want to break out of the destructive toxicity cycle. When you spot toxicity in the guy you’re seeing, don’t be afraid to call him out and hold them accountable for their actions. They need to know that you won’t tolerate any BS anymore. If the guy doesn’t mean to be toxic, he’ll accept what you have to say and may even realize the harm of his actions. If he is toxic, he’ll quickly dismiss your concerns, make empty promises, or simply leave.
I made myself a priority.
Toxic guys love it when you make them your priority even when they treat you like trash. It’s time to reverse this. Whether they make you their priority or not, make yourself a priority. You come first, not him, especially if he’s toxic. Love yourself and learn to say no. Establish your boundaries now and kick the toxic freeloader out of your life.
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