You always hear about the importance of relationship compatibility — you need similar lifestyles and life goals to really last long-term — but without real intimacy, it’s never going to work. Here are 14 signs you and your partner have strong intimacy compatibility — and yes, it’s about more than just sex!
You enjoy different kinds of physical contact. Outside of the bedroom, you touch, kiss, hold hands and caress each other every time you’re together. Sometimes it even happens naturally, like you just hold hands without realizing it because you love being so close. Research has found that physical affection is linked to relationship and partner satisfaction. It can even help you and your partner resolve conflicts better, so give each other more hugs, caresses, and kisses.
Your sexual needs match. Maybe you both love being adventurous in the bedroom or you have similar sex drives. Of course, it’s impossible to have exactly the same sexual needs 24/7, but similarities are important to make you feel pleasure together during sex, which creates a satisfying bonding experience.
You place the same worth on sex. It’s not just important to want similar things in the sack but also think in a similar way about what benefits sex brings to your relationship. For instance, some people might see sex as being a purely physical activity, whereas others might see it as a way to feel more connected to their partners. Having the same views ensures you stay on the same page.
You’re open about sex. You don’t hold back when it comes to talking about sex. This is such an important part of ensuring you’re both satisfied and compatible. Remember, intimacy starts in the brain! Being able to talk about your sexual fantasies, weird fetishes and more, in a safe space, means you’re seriously intimate.
You have the right amount of sex for you as a couple. It’s easy to worry that you’re not getting enough sex, especially when there are so many different ideas of how much the “right” amount actually is. Honestly, when you have real intimacy, you and your partner will have the amount of sex that feels right for both of you and your relationship. It’s about quality, not quantity.
You get naked emotionally. You know sex is just one part of relationship intimacy. You and your partner regularly “undress emotionally” by sharing your hopes, dreams, fears and quirks. Being with a partner who can do this with you makes you truly compatible on a deeper level.
You don’t need sex to feel connected. Sex is important in your relationship, sure, but if you have real intimacy with your partner, you really don’t need it as the only way to feel close. By having strong communication and being romantic with each other outside of the bedroom, you build a healthy connection. Sex is then just a bonus on top of that.
You sleep together. No, not have sex but actually sleep together! It might seem like nothing special, but sleeping next to each other boosts your intimacy. A study of 1,000 people found that 94 percent of couples who maintain some physical contact with each other while sleeping are happier with their overall relationship, compared to the 68 percent of couples who don’t touch during sleep.
You’re intellectually intimate. You know you and your partner should connect mentally, but it’s not just about stimulating each other’s ideas and thoughts that’s important. You should also trust and respect each other. When your opinions and feelings differ, you’re able to see each other’s perspectives, even if you agree to disagree. These are important parts of intimacy on a mental level.
You keep exploring each other. Just because you’ve been dating and sleeping together for many months, it doesn’t mean your intimacy should drop. It will actually increase if you’re intimately compatible because you’ll treat each other like you’ve just met, taking real interest in each other and taking the time to explore each other’s bodies as you change and grow together. You’ll discover new things about your partner and this keeps you connected in the long-term.
You laugh at the same things. Ever wondered why you feel so close to your partner when you share a laugh? It’s because humor is linked to intimacy. When you laugh together, it shows that you’re seeing situations in the same way, you’re diffusing stress and sharing a special bonding moment. Having a good LOL over an inside joke will make you feel like you just “get” each other and like you’re a team against the world.
You’re spiritually intimate. Real intimacy moves from the physical to the mental and finally reaches the spiritual level. When you and your partner have reached this stage, you’ll know by how you don’t try to change each other. Your bond is characterized by true acceptance, love, and respect for each other.
You make eye-contact. You might think it’s stupid, but don’t underestimate the power of really looking at each other. How often do you and your partner stop and really gaze into each other’s eyes? You just need a few minutes of eye contact to feel closer. A study published in the Scientific American found that people really look at each other between 30 and 60 percent of the time, but couples who are in love make eye contact 75 percent of the time. You should also try to have more eye contact during sex as it can heighten your feeling of closeness.
You make love instead of having sex. Anyone can have sex and really enjoy it, but it’s a completely different experience when your sex is filled with love. This takes your sex to a much deeper level, filled with affection, emotion, and closeness. Couples who are compatible when it comes to intimacy make love, not just have sex, and they’re happier for it.
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