I Lost My Boyfriend And My Job — And I Couldn’t Be Happier

There was a time in my life when I thought I had it all. I had recently graduated from college with a job lined up in my field of study and my boyfriend at the time only had one year of school to go before we could start our lives together. Within a span of two months, my boyfriend decided that things were moving a little too fast and the small agency I was working for began losing clients left and right. I found myself jobless and single, but surprisingly, happy.

  1. I gained a new perspective. Before my life began falling apart, I’d always been a bit of a pessimist. It wasn’t until after everything went wrong that I realized I never had any reason to be so negative. I made it a point to begin seeking out the silver lining in the smallest of things and began putting myself first. It was actually pretty refreshing.
  2. The stress from being alone and jobless didn’t come close to the stress I was feeling before. I never realized how burned out I was until I was able to step back and evaluate my bare bones life. I worked my ass off in college, held multiple jobs while I studied, and even made time for internships. On top of that, I was always putting my ex-boyfriend’s goals in front of mine. The stress that came from striving for perfection was my eventual downfall.
  3. I learned to draw a healthy line between my personal life and work life. Now that I’m in a healthy relationship, I’d never begrudge myself the opportunity to come home and complain to my fiancee about having a crummy day at work. That being said, I try my best not to unload the negativity on my significant other like I used to do with my first job. Instead, I try to shake off the day with a nice long walk or a delicious dinner, and focus on the here and now.
  4. I found out who my real friends are. I’ve always surrounded myself with lots of different types of people. Even at a young age, I would “friend hop” from one group to another, never really resting in one place. When word got out that my life was basically in shambles, some unexpected people came into play to help build me back up again. I learned the importance of quality over quantity when it comes to choosing my friends.
  5. I realized I needed a real support system. I was in a dark place after my ex left me and it reflected greatly on my work. I began showing up late and visibly hungover. I’d zone out in the middle of the day, and miss deadlines. It didn’t take long for my friends and family to notice my self-destructive streak. It took time, but I came to realize I couldn’t get better on my own.
  6. I finally had time to re-evaluate what I really wanted. Getting dumped and laid off left me with an abundance of something I hadn’t experienced in a long time — free time. At first I resented it. I’d obsessively job hunt for anything I qualified for. As a recent graduate, there weren’t very many opportunities. I started working at a local tea shop to bring in some money and I realized I had been pushing myself too hard. I wasn’t enjoying my life or taking the time to enjoy the people in it. I didn’t make big bucks at that little tea shop, but it allowed me the time to learn some valuable lessons.
  7. New opportunities opened up to me. I began engaging on social media a lot more during my down time. A few old friends from school took notice and said they really liked my writing style and were curious to know if I’d be interested in contributing to their women’s lifestyle website. Through that site, I began to find my passion. I’d always loved writing and helping others, and having the opportunity to combine those skills was incredibly gratifying.
  8. I learned to face new challenges with confidence. Life didn’t magically piece itself back together after everything fell apart. I struggled, worked, and failed a million more times, but I discovered that’s just the way life works. My life will never be perfect and something will always become unhinged, but I can control the way I handle all of life’s challenges.
  9. I had nowhere to go but up. I never quite understood what it meant to hit rock bottom until I got there. I had such an inflated ego when I left college. None of my friends had jobs lined up, very few of them were in solid relationships at the time, I felt like I had a leg up on life. Suddenly, it seemed like everyone else had their act together but me. I saw it as an opportunity to hit a hard reset on my life and move forward.
  10. Life got better because I decided it would. I had to make a conscious decision to turn my life around. Everything felt like it was going wrong because I wasn’t doing anything to make my life better. Instead of complaining about the bad, I started seeking out the good. I started to strive to get things I knew I deserved, and I became happier than I’ve ever been.
Jessica is a proud Pittsburgher that loves to drink tea and adopt cats in her spare time. She is a self-proclaimed Slytherin and would like to visit Harry Potter World as soon as possible!