I Love Giving Oral Sex, But That Doesn’t Make Me Easy

There’s still a sad stigma around oral sex that belies the fact that it’s already 20-freaking-16. Having a guy’s arousal under my control isn’t just an empowering experience, but mutually mind-blowing, as well, so to speak. Haters gonna hate, but I’m not ashamed of all day, every day.

Pleasing men is not a sin. 

A common misread of feminism is the belief that in order for women to get equal status, men aren’t allowed to be happy anymore. What a load of bull. While it’s true that we as a society need to raise (or even recognize) the value of women, allowing myself to blow a guy doesn’t have to be a step back for women’s rights.

You don’t have to like giving head, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. 

Why should my enjoyment of giving head be any more shameful than liking pistachio ice cream? If no one’s forcing it down my throat (so to speak) and I’m not hurting anyone in the process, I don’t see the problem.

I have the right to be sexy. 

If giving guys incredible head makes me feel sexy and strong, then I’m more than allowed to feel that way. Taking my sexuality into my own hands is anything but promiscuous. In fact, it’s totally empowering and makes me feel amazing.

Empathy is healthy. 

Not everyone derives sexual pleasure directly from giving their partner pleasure, but as a person who loves giving head, it’s absolutely a big part in why I love it. And it’s hard to give a good oral sex without exercising a bit of empathy in the act. Giving head can in turn shoot feel-good chemicals into the brain, giving me those wonderful chills and being pretty damn arousing in the process.

No one forced me to love BJs — I just do. 

I don’t have to be forced into liking oral sex — I just naturally do. It’s 100 percent my decision to go down on a guy and exercise my sexual power, not his or anyone else’s. Anyone who disrespects this decision without actually asking what I want is directly disrespecting me and infringing on my autonomy. To hell with those people.

Foreplay is fun. 

Not all oral sex ends with a one-sided orgasm. I find giving head is a great way to jumpstart saucy sex play, so that, frankly, I can get even more of what I want, whether it’s him going down on me or getting to go straight to some of my favorite positions.

Trading oral sex isn’t always bad. 

I’m not obligated to give head, nor is any guy entitled to receive it — and I shouldn’t have to feel like giving head is the only way I can get someone to go down on I. But if my partner and I enjoy “trading” oral sex, there’s no harm in that. Enjoying giving oral just makes this all the more fun!

Promiscuous women don’t exist. 

Perhaps the most fallacious (fellatious?) argument of all concerning the stigma of loving oral sex is the insistence that easy women even exist in the first place. You know what an easy woman is in our society? It’s merely a woman who enjoys sex. A woman’s value — my value — shouldn’t be tied to the number of partners I’ve been with nor my sexual proclivities. Slut-shaming is woman hating. And the sooner we cut that crap out, the happier everyone will be.

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