While no woman intends to fall into the “crazy girlfriend” role, it happens. We lose our heads over guys we like and do stuff that we wouldn’t generally entertain when we’re in our right minds. Plus, even if we are even-keeled about our relationships, mental health struggles are real and things happen in life that sometimes compromise our equilibrium. That’s not a bad thing for guys since many men like having sex with women who are a little unstable.
There’s something to be said for a bad attitude. A new study published in the Journal of Sex Research discovered that guys with partners who “had less emotional stability reported better sexual function” while “lower agreeableness of a sexual partner was predictive of better sexual function in women.”
Of course, you have to find a good guy too. The study also found that “men who are thorough and dutiful may feel the need to satisfy their partner sexually, which may, in turn, lead to a better sexual function of their partners.”
It’s not clear if this is true across the board. The findings were a result of a survey of interviews with volunteers about their sex lives, sexual function, and personalities. All participants had an average age of 51 and all of them had been in committed relationships for an average of 24 years. While these statistics may differ were the study done predominantly on millennials, the results are still pretty troubling for multiple reasons, the main one being the implications it has about men’s approach to their partners’ problems.
It’s kind of troubling if you think about it. It’s not hard to imagine that one of the reasons guys like having sex with women who aren’t necessarily in a great place is that it means said women are easier to manipulate. Think of when you’ve been in the midst of anxiety or depression or when you’ve dealt with a serious professional setback or personal loss. It changes the way you feel and think, making you more vulnerable by default. A decent dude would care more about comforting you and helping to get you through a rough patch rather than how good you were in bed (or whether you were in the mood to be in bed with him at all), but this study suggests the opposite.
At the end of the day, we should be aiming for happy, healthy, consensual sexual encounters. While there’s no telling what the motivation was behind each of the participants’ responses, shouldn’t we all be aiming to have good sex with partners who are consenting and healthy in every possible way? That’s not to say that those with mental or emotional health issues can’t also enjoy sex, but to prefer sex with women specifically because of these things seems pretty messed up.
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