A lot of guys like to think they’re total Lotharios in the bedroom, but the reality is often much grimmer. Women will always a respect a man who takes the time to get to know our bodies, our likes and dislikes, and what gets us off, but the sad truth is that a lot of dudes seriously overestimate how capable they are of making their partners orgasm.
This is probably the least surprising news ever. According to new research published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, a lot of newlywed guys are guilty of believing their wives are getting off way more often than they actually are. While this study is particular to heterosexual couples who just got married, the phenomenon is certainly not.
To state the obvious, men orgasm way more easily than women. Nathan D. Leonhardt of the University of Toronto, co-author of the study, was interested in digging deep into the sexual dynamics of couples who planned on being exclusive for life. “Issues surrounding orgasm can be particularly tricky to navigate for mixed-sex couples (a man and a woman), as research has long documented that the average man reaches orgasm more easily than the average woman,” he explained. “With the good fortune of having a nationally representative sample of newlyweds, we wanted to take a deeper look at how a variety of dynamics surrounding orgasm are connected to satisfaction for mixed-sex couples.”
There’s still a major sexual satisfaction gap between men and women. Of the 1,683 newlywed couples interviewed as part of the Couple Relationships And Transition Experiences (CREATE) study, 87% of husbands admitted to getting off regularly compared to a relatively paltry 49% of women. Uh, that’s not good (but again, it’s also not surprising).
Men legitimately think women are getting off all the time. Only 14% of women misperceived how often their husbands were orgasming, while a ridiculous 43% of men got it wrong. That’s nearly half! If we’re not faking it—and let’s be honest, we should NOT be faking it—how are guys so clueless?
Naturally, this is a big problem. Having a partner who’s unable to figure out when you’re getting off or not (or do anything to fix it) causes serious unhappiness and frustration in relationships. “Misperceptions by either the husband or the wife tended to be problematic for satisfaction in the relationship,” Leonhardt said. “We need more research to follow up on this, but additional analyses suggest that discomfort surrounding sexuality and a lack of communication might be driving some orgasm misperceptions that are problematic for the relationship.”
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